The funny things kids say

My 9 year old daughter had been banned from playing her DS for a week, and as there were only "baby shows" on TV which her sisters were watching, and all of her books were "boring Mum", I asked her what she would be interested in researching if I gave her a project to do. She chose snakes. I dutifully wrote her some questions, and she went away and worked on it for a good hour, during which time I finished up everything I was doing and had taken off to the supermarket to pick up some stuff for dinner. Anyway, as I walked through the door she raced up to me excitedly and presented me with her project, all questions answered in paragraph form and illustrated beautifully. She's bursting with excitement; "Quick Mummy, mark it for me" (I'm a teacher)
I didn't get past the first line before I nearly stopped breathing:
Question 1. What is the most venomous snake in the world?
Answer: The most venomous snake in the world is the Trouser Snake. It is found all over the world and lives in trousers.

I woke my daughter up on her first day of grade two. She opened her eyes, stretched and yawned and exclaimed "Next year I’m in grade three!".

There are so many funny things kids say, my nephews and nieces crack me up all the time. One of the best things I’ve heard one of them say was from my eldest nephew.

When he was just shy of 4 years old, my sister (his mum) was heavily pregnant with her youngest and happened to be wearing a pair of elastic-waisted trackies that were sitting quite low under her belly. At one stage during the day, my nephew grabbed her pants in an effort to steady himself and due to the fact that they were sitting so low he happened to cop an eye full of my sister's, umm, lady carpet. Fascinated, he asked my sister in all seriousness, "Mummy, is that your stuffing?"

Stifling laughter, my sister replied that it was.

My nephew then turned to our mum (his grandmother) and said "Nanny, do you have stuffing too?"

Mum replied that yes, she did have stuffing, because all grown up have stuffing. "Wow, can I see yours?" said my nephew as he tried to pull mum's pants down and have a look.

They had to explain to him that a grown up's stuffing was private and not something you asked about and looking in people's pants was not a nice thing to do!

My neighbour's little boy was driving her mad, saying he wanted to eat "pixies".

Eventually she worked out what he actually wanted was "chickpeas"!

In our house now, and forever more I suspect, chickpeas are known as pixies.

When I exasperatedly said to my one year old “what part of "No" don’t you understand”, my three year old thought about it carefully and then responded "Maybe its the nnnnn part mummy".