Funny things kids say

Here is the full list of funny quotes. These sayings come from the kids at my local school, reader submissions and aggregated from all over the Internet. I'm hoping to make this one of the largest collections of funny kid's sayings around.

You can also add your own sayings, or view 5 random funny quotes!

Tastes like

Miss 4 wanted some of my lunch to try, to see what it tastes like. So I gave her some, and she said
"I tasted it and it tasted like what it tastes like."

Eated a mouse

Miss 4 came in with her stuffed cat.
Miss 4: "My cat eated a mouse."
Me: "Did it taste nice?"
Miss 4: "No. It was a computer mouse."

Nothing wrong with it

Miss 9 came in with a slinky that was noticeably warped and twisted.
She announced "its a bit bent but there's nothing wrong with it" and then marched back out again.

Walking on the ceiling

I was having a bath with miss almost 3 when she wanted to get out and go to the toilet. I told her to be very careful, the floor will be wet and slippery.
She had a think about that, and said "the ceiling isn't slippery". I said "but you don't usually walk on the ceiling". She replied "I like walking on the ceiling!"

Blood went back in

Miss almost 3 cut her finger and I put a bandaid on it yesterday because it was bleeding quite a bit.
Today she wanted it taken off. When I took it off, there was just a little scab and she excitedly told me "the blood's gone back in my finger!"


I was renovating the bathroom.
Miss 3 asks me "what's that?"
I reply "that's a tube of silicon".
Miss 3 excitedly replies "dat's a tube of skeletons!"


Miss 3 was in the bath.
She announced "I not Cassandra. I a Cassiefish!" with a huge grin on her face.

What privacy?

I was sitting on the toilet, in an attempt to preserve a modicum of decency and privacy. Anyone with a small child would realise how futile this is.
So we had this discussion:
Me: I'm trying to go the toilet here.
Miss 3: I look at you!
Me: Why do you need to look at me wee?
Miss 3: I not look at you wee. I look at your boobies!
I'm breastfeeding her little brother at the moment, and apparently my boobies are one of the most interesting things in the house.

It doesn't mean that!

Small girl to mother, whilst on board an old sailing ship: "Why is it called the poop deck?"

Poor cat

Last night Miss 3 comes in to tell me "the pupuss is sleeping on Aisha's bed".
5 minutes later she comes in and says "the pupuss is sleeping on your bed now". I asked her "did you annoy the cat and make her move?"
Miss 3 replied in a very serious voice "Yes. I throwed a shoe at her."