Funny things kids say - 5 random sayings

Here is the full list of funny quotes. These sayings come from the kids at my local school, reader submissions and aggregated from all over the Internet. I'm hoping to make this one of the largest collections of funny kid's sayings around.

You can also add your own sayings, or view 5 random funny quotes!

No wedding for you

Oh I have thought of another one that my son has said.
His father and I got married last year. Well we were having trouble with one of my bridesmaids and my husband was fed up with her and pretty much threw her out of the wedding party. Well he gave her one last chance to redeem herself and said if she didn't make it to the rehearsal at the church then she better not show up to the wedding the next day because he wouldn't marry me. Well she called me and told me that she had tried calling my MOH's cell (which she did because the phone rang but MOH hung up and turned off the phone) wanting to see if we were still at the church because she didn't know how long it would take and how to get there. I felt bad and told her she could still come and be a part of the wedding and told hubby. He was a little more than pissed and still insisted that he wouldn't marry me if she was there. Well we got to the church before him because he was late ( another story all together) and my son had come downstairs to see me. He looked up at my bridesmaid and said " My daddy said he wasn't going to marry my mommy if you were here"
She looked terrified and asked me if she should leave and if he was really serious. I told her not to worry about it and it would be fine. He ended up being 40 min late for the ceremony so I was a little more than freaked. But how my son said it to her was absolutely priceless.


My mother has an house daycare. One day I was in the yard playing with the little kids. The wind was blowing hard. There are a lot of tall pine trees in my parents yard. A little boy looked up at the tall trees that were swaying in the wind, and said "the trees are making wind". I thought that was funny, yet somewhat...poetic.

Kitten please

The funniest thing that my nephew said was he wanted a baby girl kitten because my sister told him he was gonna have a baby sister or brother.


I get woken up each day by a small person saying "I'm back! It's very morning!"

Lady stuffing

There are so many funny things kids say, my nephews and nieces crack me up all the time. One of the best things I’ve heard one of them say was from my eldest nephew.
When he was just shy of 4 years old, my sister (his mum) was heavily pregnant with her youngest and happened to be wearing a pair of elastic-waisted trackies that were sitting quite low under her belly. At one stage during the day, my nephew grabbed her pants in an effort to steady himself and due to the fact that they were sitting so low he happened to cop an eye full of my sister's, umm, lady carpet. Fascinated, he asked my sister in all seriousness, "Mummy, is that your stuffing?"
Stifling laughter, my sister replied that it was.
My nephew then turned to our mum (his grandmother) and said "Nanny, do you have stuffing too?"
Mum replied that yes, she did have stuffing, because all grown up have stuffing. "Wow, can I see yours?" said my nephew as he tried to pull mum's pants down and have a look.
They had to explain to him that a grown up's stuffing was private and not something you asked about and looking in people's pants was not a nice thing to do!