Funny things kids say - 5 random sayings

Here is the full list of funny quotes. These sayings come from the kids at my local school, reader submissions and aggregated from all over the Internet. I'm hoping to make this one of the largest collections of funny kid's sayings around.


You can also add your own sayings, or view 5 random funny quotes!

Bridal garb

My daughter was trying to explain what a veil is and how brides sometimes wear them. She said, "If I get married, I think I'll wear a funny hat!"

Stuck zip

her: my zip is stuck
me: have you been pulling on it?
her: no, just trying to get it up
me: so have you been pulling on it?
her: no, just trying to get it up
me: so you've been pulling on it then
her: no, just trying to get it up
me: no really, have you been pulling on it?
her: yes
She came back to me about 5 minutes later with the same dress and the same problem and the same argument. And this was at about 6pm on a cold night, when she had no reason at all to be fiddling with the zip of a summer dress.

Can I come to the wedding?

Daughter: 'Mummy, can I go to your wedding?'
Me: 'No sweetheart, I'm already married and I don't plan to get married again.'
Daughter: 'Oh. Is Daddy married?'
Me: 'Yes, Daddy is married to me'
Daughter: 'Oh. And I'm married too.'
Me: 'No, you're not married. When you're much bigger you can get married if you want.'
Daughter: 'Good. I don't want to get married.'

Tough steak

I usually buy good steak if I'm going to buy it, but one time I bought the cheap steak. Well my son was eating and I could see this look on his face, so I asked him what was wrong. He told me "I keep chewing the steak but it won't go away"

Boobie the ripper

Her: You know what I heard some people do?
Me: No, what?
Her: They go around and pull ladies boobies off!
Me: And where did you hear that?
Her: Jordan
Me: And does Jordan usually tell the truth?
Her: No
Me: So do you believe him?
Her: No, cos there's noone in the town with missing boobies.