Funny things kids say - 5 random sayings

Here is the full list of funny quotes. These sayings come from the kids at my local school, reader submissions and aggregated from all over the Internet. I'm hoping to make this one of the largest collections of funny kid's sayings around.

You can also add your own sayings, or view 5 random funny quotes!

Get the baby out!

My 4 year old cousin and his pregnant mom:
Mom: so what do you think we should do today?
4yo: hmm.. Ice cream, playground, or surgery to get the baby out!!!

Smells fishy

Earlier in the day we past a restaurant that smelled like fish. Then when we went to the public washroom … and she said, "It smells like fish in here TOO!"


Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss


We had chicken fillets cut into pieces and cooked in sauce for dinner last night (Chicken Tonight style, if you are familiar with the brand). After dinner we were watching TV and there was an advert for KFC fillets, which comes with the "11 different herbs and spices" that I'm sure everyone knows.
My daughter piped up with "Mum, next time we have chicken fillets can we have the crispy ones not the slimy ones?"
So much for thinking I'd made a nice dinner.

Unicorns drained the Murray

In Australia, the Murray River is a very large river system that has so much water sucked out of it by irrigators that it just doesn't flow at all by the time it reaches the sea. It is a major political issue as the river crosses several states.
Her: Mum, I know why the Murray River doesn't flow!
Me: oh?
Her: Yes! Unicorns drink it! Big herds of unicorns come down and drink all the water!
Me: I'll let the Government know so they can do something about it.
Her: You can't kill unicorns! Unless you stab them under the left eye.