Funny things kids say - 5 random sayings

Here is the full list of funny quotes. These sayings come from the kids at my local school, reader submissions and aggregated from all over the Internet. I'm hoping to make this one of the largest collections of funny kid's sayings around.


You can also add your own sayings, or view 5 random funny quotes!

No underwear

My son is now 7. When he was 5 he was outside with his dad. Somehow a conversation started between my husband and another tenant from the building. She was really tall about 6 feet and was wearing a short skirt. My son is very friendly and ran up and was talking to her. She was talking to him and he went to hug her legs. My husband said our son got a strange look on his face and looked over at him. My husband asked him what was wrong and our son says "Daddy why isn't she wearing underwear?"
My husband said the girl went about 6 shades of red and quickly took off and he was trying not to laugh. I ran into her a couple of days later during a fire alarm and was wondering why she was pointing at my son and whispering to her friend.

Subliminal messaging

Sylvia's very big on subliminal messaging.
S: Can I have cookie please?
M: Not now, we just finished dinner and dessert.
*I start reading my book for a few minutes. Sylvia sneaks up behind me*
S: Coooooookies........Cookies for Sylvia (right in my ear)
She tries with anything really. I guess she figures she can plant the suggestion in my puny brain without me realizing.

Mouth farts

*burp* Oh 'scuse me; I farted in my mouth.

Staying home

"Why do I have to go to school when I'm never leaving home anyway?"

Model

We were watching America's next top model and my daughter said to me:
"Mom, why don't you look like them?"