Funny things kids say - 5 random sayings

Here is the full list of funny quotes. These sayings come from the kids at my local school, reader submissions and aggregated from all over the Internet. I'm hoping to make this one of the largest collections of funny kid's sayings around.


You can also add your own sayings, or view 5 random funny quotes!

Seeing Santa

I just met the cutest little girl in the shop! The line for the cash point had gotten so long it was touching the line for santa's grotto. A girl of about 5 years old turned to me, tugged on my trouser leg and said "Exchoose me, are you waiting to see santa?"

I love you

My 5yo son has a tendency to grab hold of someone and try and plant a sloppy kiss on their cheek and then proceeds to say "I fell in love with you"

Poo pee

Parent: want to go tee tee?
Child: No!
parent: want to go poo pee?
child: No!
parent: want to go pookah? ( or whatever you word is for flatulence)
The child always erupts in laughter. Worked great for my 3.5 YO. She thought and then laughed at the joke about 10 times in a row until I decided to stop and make her and her sister ( who also laughed heartily ) leave the play palace with me at Burger King. My guess is that she evaluated solids, liquids, and gases, knowing that making gas did not require a trip to the potty.

Mouse friends

Our cat brings in mice to play with before she eats them on a fairly regular basis. Last night we were all sitting in the hallway watching the cat, and the mouse ran away from the cat and hid next to our toddler.
Toddler declares the mouse to be her "friend", and after the cat ate the mouse she went around looking for her "mouse friend".

Getting old and fat

"When you are an adult, you stop growing up and start growing out. Then you get bigger and bigger until you are as fat as the whole world!"