Funny things kids say - 5 random sayings

Here is the full list of funny quotes. These sayings come from the kids at my local school, reader submissions and aggregated from all over the Internet. I'm hoping to make this one of the largest collections of funny kid's sayings around.

You can also add your own sayings, or view 5 random funny quotes!


"I must buy some budgie seed" I said whilst out shopping. "Oooh !" said my 3 year old son. "If you plant them, will budgies grow ?"

Say it straight

My daughter Aisha had the first meusli bar from a box. We'd had that particular brand before and she recognised the flavour. But instead of saying it directly, she said "This taste reminds me of the time a little girl called Aisha had a meusli bar that tasted just like this one".

Baby on TV

My oldest son when he was five and I was pregnant with his brother did not believe I had a baby in my belly. He came to the 20 week ultrasound with us. The next day he went to school with the ultrasound picture for show and tell. He told the class, "I know my mom's really got a baby in her belly now because he saw it on TV!"

Babies in tummies

The baby's been really active lately, I can actually see and feel the kicks now. So yesterday while I was sitting down and she was doing gymnastics in my belly, I had my son come over to feel the kicks. He put his hand on my belly and as soon as she kicked back he pulled his hand away with a completely surprised look on his face and said "MOM! Did you eat the baby?!?"

Nothing wrong with it

Miss 9 came in with a slinky that was noticeably warped and twisted.
She announced "its a bit bent but there's nothing wrong with it" and then marched back out again.