Funny things kids say - 5 random sayings

Here is the full list of funny quotes. These sayings come from the kids at my local school, reader submissions and aggregated from all over the Internet. I'm hoping to make this one of the largest collections of funny kid's sayings around.


You can also add your own sayings, or view 5 random funny quotes!

Little sister

My younger son, who just turned 4 last week, was playing with his cabbage patch doll the other day, pretending that it was a baby sister. He was being very sweet to the doll, and tells me that he wishes he had a real baby sister, but then adds: "one that doesn't eat, so she won't grow bigger".

Not scarey

My two girls were having a conversation in the next room:
Miss 4: "I climb up my bookshelf to put things there."
Miss 11: "You CLIMB up your BOOKSHELF???"
Miss 4: "Yes, its a little bit scary"
Miss 11: "how do you do that?"
Miss 4: "The bookshelf is very heavy, it doesn't wobble. I'm small and it doesn't fall down"

Beep duck

When my oldest was little, he called the Roadrunner a "beep duck."

Love means no clothes

My daughter age 5, was watching Barbie and Ken and when they kissed in the movie she looked up and said to me, "Does he love her now?" and I said "aww yes of course he does" and she said "well why havn't they taken their clothes off then?" I was speechless.

Marriage and divorce

My daughter was trying to get me to get married.
"If you get married, you need to get the divorce as well. If I got married, I'd get the divorce just before I died so he doesn't have to worry about me."