Funny things kids say - 5 random sayings

Here is the full list of funny quotes. These sayings come from the kids at my local school, reader submissions and aggregated from all over the Internet. I'm hoping to make this one of the largest collections of funny kid's sayings around.

You can also add your own sayings, or view 5 random funny quotes!

Messy tree

We were going around the block, me walking and my daughter on her tricycle. We passed under a tree that had dropped its seeds all over the sidewalk. She turned to look at me and said in her best mommy voice, "Look at this mess!"

Difficult task

My son was dawdling getting dressed this morning. He kept telling me he "had to drive his cars to the garage!" (playing hotwheels). After about 10 minutes he finally had all his cars where he wanted them, and came over to me to get dressed. He looked me in the face and said...
"THERE! Was that so difficult?!?"


When my daughter had been in the bath too long, she would say that she had "winky fingers!". So cute.

Look in here

I'm out in the backyard, it's summer. 4 year old nephew has the hose, and he wants to soak his father. A little ways away, I've got the hose and can crimp it. Every time he goes to get his father wet, the flow of water "mysteriously" stops. So he looks down the hose. The flow of water "mysteriously" starts. After about three times, he goes up to his father and says, "Dad, look in here".

Switched-off baby

While holding a few-days-old baby who fell asleep: "Mom, is he turned off?"