Funny things kids say - 5 random sayings

Here is the full list of funny quotes. These sayings come from the kids at my local school, reader submissions and aggregated from all over the Internet. I'm hoping to make this one of the largest collections of funny kid's sayings around.

You can also add your own sayings, or view 5 random funny quotes!

Driving by itself

Today Miss 3 tells me "Last night, when I was in bed, I was dreaming that the car was driving by itself."
She wouldn't tell me where the car drove itself to.

Brainy boobs

I was having a conversation with a four year about brains. I told him that brains were in your head, and he goes "No they're not! They're here!" And then he squeezed my right boob.


My daughter, prodding some garlic that had escaped from the garlic roasted chicken on her plate:
"What's this white stuff? Its definitely not garlic. I don't even know what garlic tastes like."


When I sit like this and wriggle, my crotch gets excited.


I was getting out of the shower and my 4 year old son asked me what is that. I told him what he was pointing was my nipple. His sister promptly came in and said, I have nipples too (she's two). Her brother said, "you both have nipples but none of you have a penis so I win! HAHAHAHAHA"