Funny things kids say - 5 random sayings

Here is the full list of funny quotes. These sayings come from the kids at my local school, reader submissions and aggregated from all over the Internet. I'm hoping to make this one of the largest collections of funny kid's sayings around.

You can also add your own sayings, or view 5 random funny quotes!


My 2-year-old asked if only preglet mommies got to wear preglet shirts (maternity)! At the time I was "preglet" myself and thought her word was a little too close to piglet. I've since embraced the cuteness!


My son calls hangers "hookers". He's always very vocal about how many "hookers" are in the store when we are shopping.

No ants in MY pants

Earlier, Sean was being really squirmy while sitting in Daddy's lap. He wanted daddy's drink, he wanted to type on daddy's computer.. anything that daddy was doing, he wanted to do.
Finally, dad - getting frustrated - says, Sean! Do you have ants in your pants!?
Sean quickly looks pulls his pants down to show daddy and says calmly, "No, daddy. I do not have ants in my pants!"

Tinkle time

Dad, you are not lucky. My sister just tinkled in your bed and now you have to sleep on pee for the rest of your life.


In the supermarket in the feminine products aisle. My husband trying to remember which tampons I wanted. My son said to the woman next to them, "My mom's got blood again, and my dad doesn't know which stuff to get to stop it."