Funny things kids say - 5 random sayings

Here is the full list of funny quotes. These sayings come from the kids at my local school, reader submissions and aggregated from all over the Internet. I'm hoping to make this one of the largest collections of funny kid's sayings around.


You can also add your own sayings, or view 5 random funny quotes!

Nice chicken?

Recently Mrs H made a very nice chicken dish. Lots of sesame, sauces etc. Delicious. Apparently not to the taste of children though.
Our youngest grandson, four years old, has verbal dyspraxia - bloody hard to understand most of the time, but improving with speech therapy. Still difficult though, especially when he’s excited (which is most of the time); his brain gets several sentences ahead of his tongue I think.
Anyway, he obviously wasn’t enjoying the chicken. Mrs H asked him what was wrong. He replied, perfectly clearly, and rather sadly, with a very disappointed look,
"Chicken is supposed to be really nice. This isn’t nice at all!"
You can’t criticise a child for being honest.

Just ducks

My daughter was upset at not getting her way (I think she wanted to go to the park) I was trying to distract her with ”lets walk to the creek instead, we can see the ducks” More crying so I said “Darling , you like ducks. I wonder what their names are? do you know what their names are”
Daughter stops crying and turns to me and says straight-faced “daddy they are JUST ducks”

Toilet water

A young boy in my pre-k class was caught coming up dripping from putting his head in the toilet. I asked him why did you do that and he replied "I don't know but I didn't drink any"

Really mad

Mommy, I am so mad at you that I am going to be mad at you TOMORROW!!!!

Colour coordination

"All my towels are pink. Your towels are all different colours. When you get a towel for me, you can choose any colour as long as it's pink!"