Funny things kids say - 5 random sayings

Here is the full list of funny quotes. These sayings come from the kids at my local school, reader submissions and aggregated from all over the Internet. I'm hoping to make this one of the largest collections of funny kid's sayings around.

You can also add your own sayings, or view 5 random funny quotes!


When I commented on how tall some flowers were growing, my daughter asked, "Are they perky? Are they full of perks?"


One morning during my Fat Dad years, when my daughter was about six, I came down the stairs wearing a ratty pair of shorts and no shirt. Flab hanging everywhere. Hair unkempt and outstretched heavenward. Jabba the Hut, if you need a mental image. Seeing her sitting on the couch, deep in some chapter book, I proclaimed myself ready for work and headed toward the door. She looked up, caught sight of me, and said, "Dad, you can’t go to work like that." I stopped in my tracks, feigned offense and ignorance, and asked her why not. She put her had on her hip, gave me that look, with her eyebrow raised and head cocked to the side, and calmly said, "You’ll gross people out and embarrass yourself."


The other day my son comes up to me while I'm on the computer and says, "Mom, are you checking your e-man?"

Fish on a waffle

My daughter came over me today while I was playing a game on the iPod and told me, "I think those guys will defeat you like you are a fish on a waffle." She used the expression several times, as though it was a common one we all know, and then said, "I would like to eat a fish on a waffle." She also told me that waffling is a fancy word for poffling.

Big chickens

My cousins from Europe visited Australia with their 3 year old daughter. I took them to see the emus and kangaroos at a national park. Upon sighting the emus the 3 year old screams out "look how big the chickens are in Australia"