Funny things kids say - 5 random sayings

Here is the full list of funny quotes. These sayings come from the kids at my local school, reader submissions and aggregated from all over the Internet. I'm hoping to make this one of the largest collections of funny kid's sayings around.

You can also add your own sayings, or view 5 random funny quotes!

Lego ships

We were building lego ships together. Will looked at my effort and said "you've done well Mummy, all things considered"


My 2-year-old asked if only preglet mommies got to wear preglet shirts (maternity)! At the time I was "preglet" myself and thought her word was a little too close to piglet. I've since embraced the cuteness!

Peach mangoes

My daughter had a hard time believing that the peaches I gave her recently were not mangoes, so now both peaches and mangoes are peach-mangoes in order to reconcile this dilemma.

Keep the change for candy

This is actually something my friend's daughter did. One day we stopped at a variety store and my friend had to quickly run in the bank beside it so she sent her daughter into the store with my money while I watched her from the car. My friend returned to the car and her daughter came out of the variety store with the loaf of bread and some candy. She asked her if she asked me if she could spend my money on the candy and her daughter replied "no". My friend initially accepted this answer but then asked her where she got the money then. Her answer: "the lady in the store gave it to me" (my change from buying the bread) We both laughed hysterically!!!

Wedding time

My best friend is getting married in December and has been explaining to her 5 year old daughter about the wedding. Along with learning what a step-daddy is and what marriage means she has been hearing what the flower girl does.
Well, apparently all A has gotten out of these discussions is that she and mommy will be dressed up like princesses and everyone will ooo and ahhhh over how pretty they are. So she has been inviting everyone from family members to random strangers in the grocery store to "Mine and mommy's wedding after Santa comes."
She also repeatedly asks me "Are you coming when me and mommy get married?"
Her mother told her that they were not the ones getting married, and A said "Oh. Are you coming when me and Z (little brother) get married?"