Funny things kids say - 5 random sayings

Here is the full list of funny quotes. These sayings come from the kids at my local school, reader submissions and aggregated from all over the Internet. I'm hoping to make this one of the largest collections of funny kid's sayings around.


You can also add your own sayings, or view 5 random funny quotes!

Oprah opera

Ever since Christmas when my daughter sang a song opera style and made everyone laugh, she does it quite freqently. Earlier this week, she was singing a song opera style, and it had been going on for quite some time. I politely asked her to please stop singing because it was starting to give me a headache. "But MOM! I'm singing OPRAH!" she said.

Lego ships

We were building lego ships together. Will looked at my effort and said "you've done well Mummy, all things considered"

Not this week

My brother came to visit my sister and me. He was talking to my nephew who is seven about school. His dad said "Yeah, Jack's gotten terrific kid twice this year." My brother said "Oh, great Jack! Are you a terrific kid?" Jack rolled his eyes and said "Um.... nope, not this week."

Underpants

I brought A a new pair of underwear out yesterday and he took one look at them and said "Death to the undies!".

No sex in THIS house

One day I decided to give my kids some ‘sex’ education (my wife was too chicken) Our daughter was 8 and our son was 6. I was going quite well, but then I mentioned mum and dad had sex sometimes, not to have children, but for enjoyment. My daughter replied ‘What… in this house?’ She stormed off into her bedroom, packed her school case, and wanted to leave home ! I followed her around the block, and talked her into returning home after she cooled off. Our son was more concerned about his sister. ‘Is she coming home dad?’ The next day, everything returned to normal. Overall, I figured it was pretty painless…