Funny things kids say - 5 random sayings

Here is the full list of funny quotes. These sayings come from the kids at my local school, reader submissions and aggregated from all over the Internet. I'm hoping to make this one of the largest collections of funny kid's sayings around.

You can also add your own sayings, or view 5 random funny quotes!


Our toddler is firmly in tune with the word "no" now, and has the concept of ownership too. The other day, she stole a sausage off the bbq and wandered off with it. I asked her for a bite. The response?
"No. Is for babies. Is mine"
We always tell her things she's not allowed to have are "not for babies" so that one is coming back on us!

Tough steak

I usually buy good steak if I'm going to buy it, but one time I bought the cheap steak. Well my son was eating and I could see this look on his face, so I asked him what was wrong. He told me "I keep chewing the steak but it won't go away"

Wearing naked

Tonight my eldest daughter was complaning she had to turn the TV up to get over the noise of the heater. We told her just to turn off the heater and put more clothes on so she doesn't deafen us with the TV from the next room ...
My partner said "look at you, you're only wearing a t-shirt. I'm wearing THREE tops".
I said "I'm wearing a jumper".
Toddler says "I'm wearing naked!"
And yes, she wasn't wearing anything at the time.

Kitten please

The funniest thing that my nephew said was he wanted a baby girl kitten because my sister told him he was gonna have a baby sister or brother.


The funniest thing my son has said in a while (unless you count calling Grover "fucker" in front of the whole family at Christmas) was last night. We co-sleep. My husband farted. We weren't quite asleep yet, but we thought my son was until he sat up and said:
Son: Da-da! That was Da-da's butt!
I laughed so hard my son got hyper again and it took a long time for any of us to go to sleep.