Funny things kids say - 5 random sayings

Here is the full list of funny quotes. These sayings come from the kids at my local school, reader submissions and aggregated from all over the Internet. I'm hoping to make this one of the largest collections of funny kid's sayings around.

You can also add your own sayings, or view 5 random funny quotes!


My son said to my mother, "if you're grandma, and your mom is great grandma, then her mom must have been fantastic."


After a Sunday School teacher explained that a hypocrite was someone who says one thing but feels something else, a girl piped up with:
"well, sometimes I say something mean to my brother, but I feel really good inside. Does that mean I'm a hypocrite?"


Not sure if this is funny or not but it was to me so here goes.
My 3yo wanted nutri-grain for breakfast – which isn’t the easiest word for a 3yo to say. He was saying some word I could not for the life of me work out so I asked him what does it look like it.
He said it was the colour of nanna’s dog with 3 holes in it. I immediately knew what he meant.

Reading in your head

We've been talking about how he doesn't have to read everything out loud - sometimes, you can just read them in your head, to yourself. He picks up a book today and starts reading it aloud. I said, "remember how you can read things in your head?" He looks at me, says, "Oh, yeah," and then puts his forehead in the book.

Magic Word

My son had broken his leg, was in plaster and had a wheelchair as he was unable to use crutches. He was very demanding and on one particular occasion was demanding chocolate from me. I asked : What is the magic word? to which he immediately replied "NOW!"