Funny things kids say - 5 random sayings

Here is the full list of funny quotes. These sayings come from the kids at my local school, reader submissions and aggregated from all over the Internet. I'm hoping to make this one of the largest collections of funny kid's sayings around.


You can also add your own sayings, or view 5 random funny quotes!

Dinosaurs are loud

Miss Almost-4 was stomping around the kitchen. I told her to be quiet because the baby was sleeping. Her reply:
"No, I'm being a dinosaur. Dinosaurs are really big and they go stomp stomp stomp really loudly."

Skinny plaits

One morning i went into my daughter's room to wake her up for school and had my fringe plaited over to one side which i never do.
Daughter: Mum, why have you got a plait in your hair?
My answer: Because i have oily hair today and i am trying to disguise it.
Daughter: Mum, Plaits only look good on skinny people!!!

Bridal garb

My daughter was trying to explain what a veil is and how brides sometimes wear them. She said, "If I get married, I think I'll wear a funny hat!"

Scratchy scratch

Miss 3 has been going on about her clothes being "scratchy" for so long we have got to the point of ignoring any complaints about scratchiness, since nothing fixes her perceived problems.
However, yesterday she was complaining that her foot was scratchy and she wasn't wearing shoes or socks. On closer examination, we found the cause of the scratchiness. It was ... wait for it ... a scratch. Easy fixed with a band-aid.

I'll take three

The scene: Walmart, last night. The detergent department (yes, it’s a whole department).
From across the crowded aisle, I hear a voice, "Mommy, here. Here!"
E comes hobbling up to me, lugging an impossibly heavy bottle.
Whether it was the angelic, smiling girl on the bottle, or some other, more subtle message that made him decide what the product was, I’ll never really know. But he shouted to me:
"Look, Mommy! This is for you. It makes your children GOOD!"