Funny things kids say - 5 random sayings

Here is the full list of funny quotes. These sayings come from the kids at my local school, reader submissions and aggregated from all over the Internet. I'm hoping to make this one of the largest collections of funny kid's sayings around.


You can also add your own sayings, or view 5 random funny quotes!

Please, God

As my 5-year-old son and I were headed to McDonald's one day, we passed a car accident. Usually when we see something terrible like that we say a prayer for those who might be hurt. So I pointed to the accident and said to my son, "We should pray." From the back seat I heard his earnest request: "Please, God, don't let those cars block the entrance to McDonald's."

When will Jesus come?

We had just left church and were heading to lunch when my 4 yr old(at the time) asked "Momma when will Jesus come?" I said "We don't know for sure..it will be a big surprise." He then said "So maybe he is packing?"

Pee again

My youngest, who turned two about 3mos ago, still occasionally needs help getting her pants down in the restroom, so I frequently just go with her when she needs to go. Yesterday as I turned on the light in the room, it was obvious that one of my older boys had not only not lifted the seat, he'd not aimed well either, and there was quite a bit of pee all over the seat. Before I could holler at the boys to come clean it up, the 2-year-old heaved a big sigh and said, "Oh dang. They did it AGAIN."

Reading in your head

We've been talking about how he doesn't have to read everything out loud - sometimes, you can just read them in your head, to yourself. He picks up a book today and starts reading it aloud. I said, "remember how you can read things in your head?" He looks at me, says, "Oh, yeah," and then puts his forehead in the book.

Pair of testicles

My grandmother was a first grade teacher who retired in the 80s. She was born in 1930 and is extremely prim and proper. The were talking about the concept of "pair" one day like this:
pair of eyes!
pair of ears!
pair of feet!
All was well until a little boy jumps up and yells "pair of testicles!"