Funny things kids say - 5 random sayings

Here is the full list of funny quotes. These sayings come from the kids at my local school, reader submissions and aggregated from all over the Internet. I'm hoping to make this one of the largest collections of funny kid's sayings around.


You can also add your own sayings, or view 5 random funny quotes!

I want to be a fireman

We went to a little Independence day celebration thing this morning and there were some firefighters there giving the kids a tour of their firetruck. This little boy jumped up in the seat and had the following conversation with a fireman:
boy: I sure wish I could be a firefighter and drive this truck!
ff: Well maybe you can someday when you get a little older.
boy: My birthday is in August! Then I will be older.
The fireman asked him how old he was and told him he'll have to have 13 more birthdays before he can drive the firetruck. The kid looked crushed.

Impressive ...

We came home really after the Canada Day fireworks and when we got home we noticed that our 5 year old son had left his car in the middle of the road so my husband jumped out and carried it into the carport. This is the conversation that my boys, aged 5 and 9, had about it:
Boy1(5)- Our dad is so strong! he's the strongest daddy ever! he can lift ANYTHING!
Boy2(9) - *in an unimpressed dull voice* If he was strong enough to lift anything he would be able to lift the minivan...
Boy1 - *pauses and thinks* Our daddy is sooo strong! He can lift small toy cars!

Stinky breath

A Listerine Pocket Packs commercial was on and when it was over, my son turned to me and said "I want that for my daddy." I said "Why?" and she answered "Cause his breath is stinky."

Squirrel or dog?

I remember taking my youngest to the park one day and while we were there a squirrel appeared. Now at that stage she had only seen cats, dogs, cows and horses and you could practically hear the wheels grinding away in her brain. Which one is it?
Eventually she came to a decision and, much to the delight of all around, she pointed at the squirrel and shouted, "Doggie!"
The squirrel was not impressed.

Rollercoaster flight

Tuesday night we flew home from our vacation to California. The flight was horrid, turbulence the entire way into Denver thanks to a snow storm.
My son, sitting nice and comfy in his carseat said "Mommy! It's a rollercoaster!"