Funny things kids say

Here is the full list of funny quotes. These sayings come from the kids at my local school, reader submissions and aggregated from all over the Internet. I'm hoping to make this one of the largest collections of funny kid's sayings around.

You can also add your own sayings, or view 5 random funny quotes!


Miss 4 was gazing into Miss 11's eyes, and then announced:
"You've got cracks in your eyes!"
Irises certainly do have interesting patterns in them :)


I was outside about to water the garden, and some of my plants were very wilted and lying flat on the ground.
Miss 4 looked at them and went "Those plants are sleeping! They need to wake up."

Lost its neat

My son woke up in the middle of the night crying "I can't sleep ... my bed has lost its neat"
Tucked him back into bed, neatly, and he went back to sleep.


Miss 4 was looking over my shoulder at my screen while I was looking at Wikipedia.
"Mum, why is there a puzzle on that moon?"

I knowed

I'd been umming and aahing for a while what to have for lunch, and I'd been saying to myself "I don't know what I want to have for lunch" while I was doing it.
Miss 4 being far less indecisive came up to me and said "I thinked about what to have for lunch and I knowed."

Tastes like

Miss 4 wanted some of my lunch to try, to see what it tastes like. So I gave her some, and she said
"I tasted it and it tasted like what it tastes like."

Eated a mouse

Miss 4 came in with her stuffed cat.
Miss 4: "My cat eated a mouse."
Me: "Did it taste nice?"
Miss 4: "No. It was a computer mouse."

Nothing wrong with it

Miss 9 came in with a slinky that was noticeably warped and twisted.
She announced "its a bit bent but there's nothing wrong with it" and then marched back out again.

Walking on the ceiling

I was having a bath with miss almost 3 when she wanted to get out and go to the toilet. I told her to be very careful, the floor will be wet and slippery.
She had a think about that, and said "the ceiling isn't slippery". I said "but you don't usually walk on the ceiling". She replied "I like walking on the ceiling!"

Blood went back in

Miss almost 3 cut her finger and I put a bandaid on it yesterday because it was bleeding quite a bit.
Today she wanted it taken off. When I took it off, there was just a little scab and she excitedly told me "the blood's gone back in my finger!"