Just one thing
"There's only one thing I want to do, and that is read a book or do a puzzle."
Funny things kids say
Here is the full list of funny quotes. These sayings come from the kids at my local school, reader submissions and aggregated from all over the Internet. I'm hoping to make this one of the largest collections of funny kid's sayings around.
You can also add your own sayings, or view 5 random funny quotes!
Mother Goose
A lady I work with took her mother and her 5 year old niece to a doctor appointment. While waiting for her mother to be seen by the doctor, she noticed her niece looking at an Amish lady. Noticing the bonnet the lady was wearing, the niece walked over to the lady and asked, "Are you Mother Goose?" My friend was mortified.
Who shot the turkey?
My dad has had a full beard since retiring from the National Guard. He's also a large guy (6'3", over 250). He was at a Thanksgiving thing at my sister's preschool when she was about 4. They had some weird turkey roll thing for "dinner". One of the little boys sitting there looked at him, seriously and at length, and then asked, "Are you the guy who shot the turkey?"
Got your nose!
Me: I got your nose!
Him: I got a new one!
Barack Obama
While walking with a group of second graders to lunch today, I overheard them talking "politics." As they passed the election display in the hall, one of them started talking about how cool "my Uncle Bomma" is. A bunch of others repeated how much they liked "my Uncle Bomma," too.
As I walked along thinking WTF?, it occurred to me that in the 7-year-old brain, the sounds of the name Barack Obama have translated to "my Uncle Bomma."
Too many girls
K has a twin sister and another little sister. When asked what she thought about the fact that the new little baby would also be a girl, her response? "Poor Daddy..."
Mexican Eskimos
"The North Pole is covered in snow! Polar bears live there! The North Pole is really cold! It's so cold, only Mexicans can live there."
Er, what? Mum and I looked at each other. "What do you mean? Who lives there?"
"Only Mexicans! Because it's so cold!"
"Really?"
"Yes! They live in igloos made from the snow! And they wear big fur coats!"
Oh right. Eskimos.
Number cruncher
This morning, completely out of nowhere, my nearly-3 asked "What's a number cruncher?"
When I explained that they added up numbers and looked at the information, he asked "Do they drink coffee?"
I just stared. Really, I don't know where the heck he got that.
The name of God
Mr. A's Son: Aimee, what is the name of God?
Me: It's God, that's his name.
Mr. A's Son: No, what's the name of God?
Me: It's just God.
Mr. A's Son: Then why does Daddy always say, "What in the NAME of God are you doing in there?"
Poisoned nephew.
While on the phone to my sister, her little boy Alec was having dinner in the background - partway through the conversation, I heard him yell out "DANA! HELP! MUM'S TRYING TO POISON ME WITH SAUSAGES!"