Capital four
OK, what does a capital 4 look like?"
"Like a regular 4, but bigger."
"How would you type one on a keyboard?"
"You press caps lock, then 4."
Funny things kids say
Here is the full list of funny quotes. These sayings come from the kids at my local school, reader submissions and aggregated from all over the Internet. I'm hoping to make this one of the largest collections of funny kid's sayings around.
You can also add your own sayings, or view 5 random funny quotes!
Magic Word
My son had broken his leg, was in plaster and had a wheelchair as he was unable to use crutches. He was very demanding and on one particular occasion was demanding chocolate from me. I asked : What is the magic word? to which he immediately replied "NOW!"
Barack Obama
I was watching CNN tonight, as usual, and they had clips of all the candidates speeches.
When they were all done, Nate looks at me and says, "I'd vote for the Black guy! He said the best things"
I asked what Nate liked about what Obama had to say. Nate says "That we should not all be arguing and that kids should NOT be poor!"
Babies in tummies
The baby's been really active lately, I can actually see and feel the kicks now. So yesterday while I was sitting down and she was doing gymnastics in my belly, I had my son come over to feel the kicks. He put his hand on my belly and as soon as she kicked back he pulled his hand away with a completely surprised look on his face and said "MOM! Did you eat the baby?!?"
Swiss cheese
My son called swiss cheese "broken cheese" because of how it has holes.
Tummy for this, tummy for that
Yesterday, me and my friend took our children on an adventure, which included a stop at McDonald's. We're all sitting, eating, and chatting, except her little boy won't eat. He's having a great time, but would rather talk about eating cookies than eat his meal. His mother asks him several times to eat his meal and then he can have a cookie, and he tells her that his dinner tummy is full but his desert tummy is hungry!
Subliminal messaging
Sylvia's very big on subliminal messaging.
S: Can I have cookie please?
M: Not now, we just finished dinner and dessert.
*I start reading my book for a few minutes. Sylvia sneaks up behind me*
S: Coooooookies........Cookies for Sylvia (right in my ear)
She tries with anything really. I guess she figures she can plant the suggestion in my puny brain without me realizing.
Death by cigarette
The other day when we were out grocery shopping, my husband lit up a cigarette. A lady walked by and my son yelled at her, "My daddy is killing himself!!" My husband quickly put out the cigarette and embarrassedly hurried back to the car.
Back in my day ...
Whenever Jack is trying to convince me to let him do something that I don't want him to do (for instance, eat cheese with his toes), he'll say, "When I was a young boy growing up in Kansas, we ALWAYS ate cheese with our toes."
Relative expense
Aisha wanted to know how much the block next door would cost. I said about $10,000. Then she wanted to know how much you pay to the person who buys your house off you. I told her no, when you sell a house *they* pay *you*. Her eyes lit up and she said "Wow! We should sell our house! We might get $1000!"