Here is the full list of funny quotes. These sayings come from the kids at my local school, reader submissions and aggregated from all over the Internet. I'm hoping to make this one of the largest collections of funny kid's sayings around.
You can also add your own sayings, or view 5 random funny quotes!
This morning my son looked at the ice in his glass of water and then looked up at me and said, "That ice looks like your eyes."
Sure, he may have been talking about the shape of the ice, but I prefer to think that it's because I've finally perfected that icy stare I've been trying to cultivate for these many years.
After a Sunday School teacher explained that a hypocrite was someone who says one thing but feels something else, a girl piped up with:
"well, sometimes I say something mean to my brother, but I feel really good inside. Does that mean I'm a hypocrite?"
My daughter was upset at not getting her way (I think she wanted to go to the park) I was trying to distract her with ”lets walk to the creek instead, we can see the ducks” More crying so I said “Darling , you like ducks. I wonder what their names are? do you know what their names are”
Daughter stops crying and turns to me and says straight-faced “daddy they are JUST ducks”
My brother, who was not really that young, was looking out the window once at our hummingbird feeder. All of the sudden he shouted, "Mom! Come look at this baby hummingbird! It's tiny!" Well, yeah, it was, 'cause it was a bee. So now our family refers to bees as baby hummingbirds.
My brother is a super picky eater - more so in his mind than in reality (as in, he's resistant to trying new things, but often likes them when forced). When he was 3 or so, we had pork chops. He wouldn't eat them, he only liked chicken. So, from then on my mother would tell him we were having chicken, which evolved into we're having chicken pork chops, chicken hamburgers, chicken steaks, etc. One day when she said we were having chicken, Chad piped up, "Chicken chicken... or another chicken?" So now we call it chicken chicken at our house.
Michael thinks that a microwave is a Michael-wave, unless it is at someone else's house, then it is (insert-name-here)-wave, as in Grandpa-wave.
My 2 year old son was going through my pregnancy photos. He liked the ones when my small bump showed and he seemed to like the idea that he was in there and I was fully clothed ... then he saw one when I was a week from popping and only dressed in my knickers (stretch marks and all) He screamed, Yuck mama, yuck put it away and proceeded to drop it in the dustbin.
Small children are quite disgusting.
My daughter was telling me that the bread roll she had at a friend's house with soup last week was shaped like a bottom. So it pooed in her mouth while she ate it and weed in her soup while she dipped it, and she told me this with a delighted grin on her face.
Again, small children are *quite* disgusting.
T: Mommy, those trees are getting wet!
E: Yes, they like to be wet. That's how they drink water.
T: Yes, trees drink the rain and grass drinks the rain and cars drink the rain.
E: Cars drink gas. We have to buy it and put it in the cars so they can drink it.
T: Well, cars like to swim like trees and grass!
J: "Mommy, the noodles taste Yellow!"
M: Really Jacob?
J: Yes. And the Corn tastes Yellow too.
Sissy: Well what does the fish sticks taste like?
J: They taste Brown.