Funny things kids say

Here is the full list of funny quotes. These sayings come from the kids at my local school, reader submissions and aggregated from all over the Internet. I'm hoping to make this one of the largest collections of funny kid's sayings around.

You can also add your own sayings, or view 5 random funny quotes!

Not touching

We were in a department store today, and Will kept touching the displays. After being asked nicely infinate times, I lost my patience and dragged him over to the pram, and made him hang on, with the instruction, again, that he was not to touch anything. He looked at me for a microsecond, then came out with...
..."except the floor, with my feet!" (grin) and then he started spinning his arms around next to me and saying "I'm touching the air too!"

I think I can't

Ben and I were playing with his trains the other day, and he had his Little Engine that Could engine. This engine has a tall smokestack, and it doesn't fit under his tunnels and bridge arches. Ben would have the engine start up the hill to the bridge, and said "I am the engine that could! I think I can, I think I can, I think I can!" Then he'd get to the top of the bridge, where the engine does not fit, and would gleefully say "I can't!"

Makes your brains fall out

My 3-year-old knows I don't like for her to watch TV because it will make her brains fall out, so the other day she appeased me by telling me, "Mommy, after I watched TV at daycare I went to play in the toy area and my brains flew back into my head."

Grandpa says

The other day my two year old was playing on the floor with her doll and having a little conversation. She would ask her doll what different animals say and then answer it. "What cat say?" "Meow." "What donkey say?" "Hee-haw." She went through a whole list and then asked, "What Grandpa say?"
She didn't answer herself that time but I figured she had an answer in mind since she said it and I just had to know so I asked her, "What does Grandpa say?"
"Grandpa say, 'Hi shorty!'"

How babies come out

My 3.5yo son gleefully informed me last night of this little tidbit about my impending child birth:
"Mama, when you have the baby, its going to go up from your belly and out of your mouth!"
(He traced the path up my stomach to my mouth while telling me, and then began to laugh histerically. The bad mommy I am didn't correct him because I was laughing too hard.)


My daughter has a fondness for all things princess related. Anyway, she got a brand new pencil crayon box, so she was colouring pictures in her princess book. As she was colouring, she started to give her princess red hair. I asked is she was making her look like Ariel, her latest favourite princess. She replied, "No Mom, I'm not making them look like Ariel, I'm just making them look fa-a-a-bulous!"

Love knows no bounds

"I loooooooooove Blake. He's so nice...except for when he calls me a butthead and puts glue in my hair."

What's in a name?

Here’s a little snippet of a conversation Sweet Pea and I had last night during American Idol:
SP: Asa? That’s his name? A-S-A is not a name.
Me: Well, yes, that’s his name. Pretty much anything someone can think of can be a name.
SP: So Buttface is a name!

Old food

Apparently this morning while my loving father was letting me sleep in for just a little while, he undertook the task of feeding my 4 and 1 year old. I had told him the evening before that there were eggs and sausage in the fridge and the boys could eat that.
So, Grandpa got to work on making a delicious breakfast for the boys. After making it, Big Brother looked at the sausage and commented, "Grandpa, you cooked the sausage different than mommy does." Next, he said, "Mommy’s eggs don’t look like that ... they are flat." Grandpa, being the wise man that he is, decided to explain to my son how some people make food differently. "Your mommy and I just make things differently," he said. To that, my 4 year old said, "Why, because you are old?"

Where is Texas?

A little boys says, "Texas is where my cousin who is in jail lived."