Underpants
I brought A a new pair of underwear out yesterday and he took one look at them and said "Death to the undies!".
Funny things kids say
Here is the full list of funny quotes. These sayings come from the kids at my local school, reader submissions and aggregated from all over the Internet. I'm hoping to make this one of the largest collections of funny kid's sayings around.
You can also add your own sayings, or view 5 random funny quotes!
Pink park
We are going to Yellowstone this weekend. We told M. "We are going to Yellowstone park!" and she replied "I don't want to go to the yellow park, I want to go to the pink park!"
Beauty and the Beast
Just today, my daughter was watching Beauty and the Beast. It was at the end, when the Beast changes into the prince, and she asked me what was happening. I explained that the spell was broken so the Beast became a prince again. She said, in a very know it all tone, "But mom, he can't change into a prince because it's called Beauty and the Beast, NOT Beauty and the Prince. Don't you know that?"
Obviously I am not well versed enough in my princess movies.
Sleeping is hard work
The other night I tucked my daughter in to bed. A few minutes later she called for me, so I went to see what she wanted.
"Moooom, it’s so HARD and HOOOOOORIBLE!" she sighed as she threw her arms over her face.
"What’s hard and horrible?" I asked the little drama queen.
"Sleeping," she moaned.
"Well, I’m sorry you think it’s hard and horrible. But why don’t you give it a try?" I proposed.
"But it’s so much woooooork!" she whined.
Sad thing is, the fruit didn’t fall far from the tree. I kinda think it’s a pain to sleep, too.
Sore tummy
Here, Mommy, feel my tummy. Does it hurt?
A whale of a tale
Driving home from school today, my daughter told me she learned about Jonah and the whale. I asked her how the story went, and this is what I heard.
There were two whales: a baby whale and a mommy whale. The baby whale ate a baby Jonah. The mommy whale ate a mommy Jonah. The whales were girls. They were starving. They didn’t want to spit Jonah out. They were a little angry.
They ate some crabs.
They ate a seagull, too.
The crabs and seagull went way down into the whale’s belly. There was a tree and some dirt in there, too. Whales love dirt. The crabs peeked out of their mouths and saw a sting ray coming toward them. The whale ate the sting ray too. There were lots of sea animals in the whale with Jonah because the whales were hungry.
The moral of the story? People shouldn’t poke a whale with their bathing suits on because the whale will whack you with its flipper.
Burps
Last night I finished a can of Coke Zero and let out a big, long burp. Then, I said "Excuse me!"
My son looked up with a huge grin on his face and laughed. Then he said, "You have to Poop!!"
Confused a little bit? I think so. I didn't correct the poor boy ... I didn’t want to discuss farts and poop and burps. Serves me right for burping in the first place.
I don't like butter
Me: "Ew, did you just spit in the butter?"
Son: (very matter-of-factly) "Yes"
Me: "Whyyyy?"
Son: "Because I don't like butter."
Sacrifice
Dad: K, you know that your Mommy and I sacrifice a lot for you and your brothers, right?
K: You do?!?!?! (a look of surprise on her face)
(Immediately Dad gets annoyed that not only does K not appreciate the sacrifices we make, but doesn't even recognize them.)
Me: (whispering to Dad) I don’t think she get what sacrifice means.
Dad: (to K) Do you know what sacrifice means?
K: Yes.
Dad: What?
K: It means you kill things.
Pet baby
This morning my English cousin's little boy asked "Mummy ... why does everyone in Ireland call babies "pets?"