Here is the full list of funny quotes. These sayings come from the kids at my local school, reader submissions and aggregated from all over the Internet. I'm hoping to make this one of the largest collections of funny kid's sayings around.
You can also add your own sayings, or view 5 random funny quotes!
I walked into the living room where the kids were watching Pingu just in time to hear my son say, "Pingu will not listen to his inner voice! He ignores his inner voice!" All of a sudden the philosophical implications of Pingu are a lot more intriguing to me than they previously were.
I gave my son a snack this afternoon in a little snack cup with a lion on it. Here's the conversation that followed:
Him: There's a lion on that cup!
Me: That's right! What letter does lion start with?
Him: *thinking really hard*
Me: L-L-Lion...
Him: I don't know, Mama.
Me: L. Lion starts with an L.
Him: L...L...Hey, I know! That rhymes with what the hell!!!
Me: *looking down trying not to laugh but not succeeding* Yup, it sure does, buddy. You are absolutely right. Good rhyming!
My husband, trying to convince my daughter that she could handle some alone time watching TV so that Mommy and Daddy could have some "alone time" of their own: Why don't you watch a TV show! What TV show would you like to watch?
Daughter, thinking: Hmmm. What will you and mommy be doing?
During a power struggle about dinner:
Me: You need to eat that food so you can get to be big and strong.
Him: I don't wanna! I want to stay little forever!
*sigh*
Tonight, my 12 year old cousin: "I'm never moving out or getting a job."
Me: "What if you get married."
Him: *Thinking hard* "She can move in here."
He completely serious about it too, it was great.
Daughter: 'Mummy, can I go to your wedding?'
Me: 'No sweetheart, I'm already married and I don't plan to get married again.'
Daughter: 'Oh. Is Daddy married?'
Me: 'Yes, Daddy is married to me'
Daughter: 'Oh. And I'm married too.'
Me: 'No, you're not married. When you're much bigger you can get married if you want.'
Daughter: 'Good. I don't want to get married.'
Daughter: 'Can I have a baby in my tummy?'
Me: 'No, you're only a little girl. Little girls can't have babies in their tummies.'
Daughter: 'Oh when I'm bigger can I have a baby in my tummy?'
Me: 'Yes, when you're bigger'
Daughter: 'Maybe when I'm ten I can have a baby in my tummy.'
Me: 'No, when you're an adult you can have a baby. When you've been to university and married someone lovely, you can have a baby in your tummy.'
Daughter: 'I'll be bigger tomorrow. Can I have a baby tomorrow?'
My daughter was turning upside down on the sofa and then flipping off it onto the floor. I asked her what she was doing and she replied "I'm circing".
Me: Circing?
Her: Yes, mummy. Like in a circus.
Of course.
I'm sitting on the edge of (quite deep) sofa with one twin, reading her a story. The other twin jumped up on the sofa, crawled along behind us, lay down and yelled "HELP! HELP!" I turned my head and said "What's wrong?" and he gave me a huge cheesy grin and said "I okay!" and crawled off the sofa. I lost it completely.
Alexander has been trying to ride Callie like a horse. All day today I have repeatedly told him "Callie is not a horsie".
Just now, he put both hands on each side of her face and said "Callie, you are NOT a horsie!"