Here is the full list of funny quotes. These sayings come from the kids at my local school, reader submissions and aggregated from all over the Internet. I'm hoping to make this one of the largest collections of funny kid's sayings around.
You can also add your own sayings, or view 5 random funny quotes!
We told our parents that we are expecting and thought it would be cute if our daughter called them and said "I'm going to be a big sister!" Well, she told my mom that. To my dad she said "I'm going to be a big man!" and to my mother in law she said "I'm going to be a big Spider-Man!" We're fairly certain she doesn't understand about the new baby.
Son, upon his father getting home from work: Daddeeeeee! I am hoping to go bye-byes now.
Dad: Well, you're going to be sorely disappointed because we aren't going anywhere.
Son: Matta fahkoo!!
One spring a few years ago my sister left for a business trip and I offered to stay at the house and take care of my nephew while my bro-in-law was at work. One day I took him to the children's hour at the library and there was a craft table where the kids could make simple paper flowers (I think it was shortly before Mother's Day). C made a flower with the help of the librarian and she said "Good job! Now you can give it to your mom!" He looks at me and says something like "Oh, she not my normal mama, she my sometimes mama when papa away from mama and she come to house and be with papa and me and papa say I listen to her, yes."
Thanks a lot for making me sound like your dad's mistress, kid.
My best friend is getting married in December and has been explaining to her 5 year old daughter about the wedding. Along with learning what a step-daddy is and what marriage means she has been hearing what the flower girl does.
Well, apparently all A has gotten out of these discussions is that she and mommy will be dressed up like princesses and everyone will ooo and ahhhh over how pretty they are. So she has been inviting everyone from family members to random strangers in the grocery store to "Mine and mommy's wedding after Santa comes."
She also repeatedly asks me "Are you coming when me and mommy get married?"
Her mother told her that they were not the ones getting married, and A said "Oh. Are you coming when me and Z (little brother) get married?"
there are two kinds of bleach -- one is for cleaning and one "sucks out all your blood"
My three-year-old niece was visiting yesterday, and she was typing on the computer.
Me: "What are you doing?"
Her: "Writing a story."
Me: "I hope it's a good story."
Her: "It's not. It's about tubesocks."
Camille (7) was trying to call Naomi a "nincompoop." It came out "Ninja poop."
When my son was about 3, and he wanted to express his displeasure with something we'd done, he'd look at us with his angry parent face and tell us we were "very temporary"
We were on our way to school yesterday and a commercial for Choctaw casino came on. They have a catchy song, "Everybody's going choctaw!" L said, "After kindergarten I want to go Choctaw."
Me: Don't you want to wear a skirt to the dance thing, so it'll twirl when you spin?
Her: Meh.
Dad: Hey, Scottish guys wear skirts, did you know that?
Her: (Scornful) Yes. They're called quilts.