Funny things kids say

We had just baked a quiche with a new recipe for the first time and were examining it as it came out of the oven.
When we turned around we found the baby had grabbed the tub of margarine, opened it, and was happily sitting there eating it while we weren't looking.

The other day the baby took her beloved stuffed cat out into the backyard, put it in a puddle to give it a good bath, and then dragged it through the mud back inside. Needless to say we washed it and hung it on the line to dry.
While it was drying the baby still needed a stuffed cat to sleep with, so we gave her one of Aisha's.
The baby declared this strange cat to be "Aida's meow"

I Believe there is a mountain. I believe there is a wave. I believe that many of us are waiting for someone to help us through that place that none know about so forgive us Lord and say too bad for we are happy now.

My son and daughter twins aged 4 always ask me where does this or that come from? me and my husband were wanting another child so we tried but only we forgot to lock the bedroom door and the kids walked in asking us what we were doing i told them i was tickling daddy.
But then they asked us where they come from.
what an odd moment to ask but thats kids for you

My son is 5 years old and he is obsessed with my breasts. he was only on breast milk 9 months. One Morning he came into my rooom and said
Him :"Mummy can i snog your boobies"
Me: no you can't
Him: i bet you let Daddy and i know you let Katy (my 3 month year old daughtetr)
Me: No Ryan(my son) you can not
Him: your evil
he then stops out the room and i fall back asleep i wake up an hour later with him sqqueezing my breasts
Whatta strange child

I got a package delivery today. My daughter says "I wish I got a parcel too. As big as a fridge! And it was a giant toothbrush!"

Me: "do you need to go to the toilet or do anything else in the bathroom?"
Her: "No"
Me: "Ok, I'm going in the bathroom to have a shower now."
Her: "But I really need to go to the toilet!"

My youngest brother would not eat his sandwiches for lunch in year 1. Mum was cutting them in triangles. One day she inadvertently cut them in squares - he ate them because they weren't "so big".!!

When there's no clouds in the sky, the sun has a clear view of the whole earth.

My son tells my husband, "Daddy? I want a haircut just like yours. Do you shave your forehead?"

It was Halloween and I was carrying my niece around trick-or-treating. She looked at my bunny ears and goes, "You're a bunny! Bunnies go, 'rabbit, rabbit'."

My daughter talks in double, triple, or even quadruple negatives. It makes her very hard to understand and I am constantly doing doubletakes.
Today she got some new conditioner and said:
"mum, this new conditioner doesn't make my hair not easier to brush".
I think she meant the new conditioner isn't as good as the old.

"I'm going to have another drink. I've had one drink too less today"

The toddler is currently good at dodging both food and sleep. So we just has this conversation, at 3:30 in the afternoon, while she was playing with her train set:
Her: "Trains!"
Us: "No, you need to eat your lunch or go to bed".
Her: "No no no no no. TRAINS."

mums are for food, and dads are for playing and fun.

Our toddler is firmly in tune with the word "no" now, and has the concept of ownership too. The other day, she stole a sausage off the bbq and wandered off with it. I asked her for a bite. The response?
"No. Is for babies. Is mine"
We always tell her things she's not allowed to have are "not for babies" so that one is coming back on us!

Out of the blue, my 9yo daughter announces "are you allowed to believe in something that noone has proven exists?"
me "er, yes"
her: "so am I allowed to believe in God then?"

Several evenings ago I was talking to my new neighbour's son Jack, who likes to play with his cars in the sand in our back block, when it came time for me to leave, I said "See you later Jack, I must go and see if my wife needs me."
To which young Jack answered in all seriousness, as only a 5 year old can, "Are you going to give her a big kiss"?.... Hmmm,.... think quick.
The best thing I could come up with at such short notice was, "Only if she's been really good"... Jack nodded and gave me his approval"
I was dismissed.

I was making coleslaw for dinner and had a quarter cabbage sitting on the table, cut sides up. My 2yo came up, started rocking it, and declared "is not cabbage. Is see-saw"
(a see saw is a teeter totter in some countries)

A: "Did you know there was a white dove at my school yesterday?"
M: "No, I wasn't at your school yesterday"
A: "It wasn't a galah."
M: "No, you just said it was a dove"
A: "It definitely wasn't a galah. It didn't look anything like a galah"
M: ...