Bucchinis
My three-year old was watching me eat a delicious zucchini side dish I made.
She asked sweetly, "Mamma, do you like that bikini?"
Funny things kids say
Here is the full list of funny quotes. These sayings come from the kids at my local school, reader submissions and aggregated from all over the Internet. I'm hoping to make this one of the largest collections of funny kid's sayings around.
You can also add your own sayings, or view 5 random funny quotes!
Elephant hat
My brother took his family out to a buffet after church on Sunday. There was a woman there who was rather large, dressed in a grey suit and wearing a grey hat. The hat had a very wide brim and was pinned up in the front with flowers. My nephew who is two stared at the hat for a bit and looks at his mother and says "Momma, dat elephant?"
Boys have a penis, girls have a vagina
Our daughter has taken notice of the fact that male and female bodies are different. The other day, after being in our bedroom while my husband was getting dressed, she came out and told me that dad has a "big, long vagina."
We cleared things up.
911
I taught my daughter how to dial 911 in an emergency this morning. I told her that if someone falls down and can't get up, is too sick to walk or talk, or asks her to that she should call 911 and give them our address. Now she keeps asking me if I'm dead yet.
Starwars Jones
Today I introduced the children I watch to Starwars. The oldest child watches for a moment and says "What's Indiana Jones doing in space?".
Flat ninja
My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day "Dad what would happen if you ran over a ninja?"
How the hell do I respond to that?
Penguin architects
We were at the zoo the other day and our son was insistent that "The puffins are architects!" My husband and I were very confused until we got to the penguins and he told us that "The penguins also live in the architect." Aha! Architect=Arctic.
Nipple nose
My 5 year old nephew just asked me why I have a nipple by my nose.
Thanks for reminding me I have not yet put my makeup on and I have a nice zit on my face.
When you grow up
A six-year-old boy once told me (when I was 16), "I'm going to marry you when you grow up." Interesting that he recognized I still had some growing up to do, but thought he was ready for marriage - or at least would be by the time I was. And it was not a proposal but rather a decree; I apparently had no say in the matter.
The F word
I burnt my finger this morning trying to open my daughter's boiled egg, and I managed to stop myself swearing, but instead ended up just saying "Ffffffffffffffffffffffffff!". I was quite proud of myself, since I swear way too much, until my son looked at me seriously and said "Mum, you were going to say "fuck", weren't you?" Oops. I couldn't help but laugh, though.