Funny things kids say

Silly bottom

when my daughter saw a boy's willy when she was 3, she pointed at it and declared "You've got a silly bottom!"

This is 2-in-1; I was going to post just one, but neither one was better than the other.
1. I was playing a video game with my friend, and her little sister (Not her real name, but I'll call her Kate) walks in. One of the characters said "reiterate", and I find myself having to explain what it ment.
The next day...
Kate: I'm mad, Anda-nee! (my nickname, according to her)
Me: Why are you mad?
Kate: A boy called me mean names!
Me: What did you do about it? Did you tell anyone?
Kate (suddenly calm): No.
Me: What? Why didn't you?!?
Kate: He said sorry.
Me: Then why are you mad?
Kate: He didn't say he would uniterate his words!
2. I was showing the same game to the same friend's 3yo cousin. I got a little nervous around this one level, because there were sentry guns, and I was afraid he would get scared by all the blood. I'm not all that great at that level, so, needless to say, I died, and I was relieved at the angle at which I died (it was first-person) didn't show much blood. Unfortunately, he bumped the mouse, and the angle changed to a full-screen (well, it FELT like full screen) view of the blood. He pointed at the screen and yelled, "Juice!"
We decided to stick with that.

Jeans with holes

I teach a 3 & 4 year old choir at my church. I came in one day wearing jeans with holes in the knees. One of the little girls came over, patted my holey knees and said:
"It's okay, Miss Rachael. I fell down in the parking lot today and ripped my hose too."

Manly testicles

When my oldest son was 4, he was helping my brother put a new shower in our bathroom. It was hot and my brother took off his shirt. Eddie took his off too, saying "Uncle Larry, we take off our shirts when we do man work because we have testicles!"
We got home an hour later, and Larry was still on the floor laughing.

Gold diggers

I was in a third grade science class today. They were discussing minerals and where they are found and such. The teacher asked "Ok, so we now know what mines are. What do we call the people who work in the mines?"
One brave little girl raised her hand and said "Gold diggers!"

Smoking Nanna

None of our friends smoke. The only person my kids had seen smoking was their nan. One day a guy came to visit and he lit a cigarette. My daughter just kept staring at him (she was about 5). I said "what's the matter?". She said "But he's not a nanna". She assumed only nanna's smoked.

Bats are not dragons

Liam told me yesterday, "Mommy, the very first time I saw a bat, I thought it was the mammal equivalent of a dragon." He was very intense and sincere when he said it. I said I'd never thought of it, but I thought he was right. He lectured me on the myriad reasons why a bat was NOT the mammal equivalent of a dragon. (Size, lack of fire breath, interest in eating humans, etc.)

Yellow teeth

We were driving up and down the Vegas strip the other day and to keep my 6 year old cousin entertained we were playing ISpy. After about a million years of trying to figure out what she is seeing that is yellow she goes "No! It's uncle's teeth!" Ah to be 6 again.

Slimy music

Today a little voice from the back seat said, "Mommy, I want more mucus!"
Apparently music is a hard word to say.

Do it

Mama, I hope that someday you get better at doing what I want you to do.