Funny things kids say

Here is the full list of funny quotes. These sayings come from the kids at my local school, reader submissions and aggregated from all over the Internet. I'm hoping to make this one of the largest collections of funny kid's sayings around.

You can also add your own sayings, or view 5 random funny quotes!


I haven't got a hair style. You can have long hair styles or short hair styles, but I don't really have any hair style. I'm going to get my Daddy to take me to the hair cuts to get me a hair style.

You said what?

We recently had a big storm and got flooded. Our house runs entirely on rainwater, so while my daughter was having a shower a few days later we had this conversation:
Me: "You know we're washing in water from the storm right now?"
Her: "Really?!?"
Me: "Really really."
Her: "Shrek says really really. And donkey!"
Me: "Yes, but what did I say before that?"
Her: "I didn't hear you"
So much for telling her something interesting about the storm ...

Spend spend spend

Her, watching over my shoulder on the computer: "Go to eBay!"
Me: "Why? Do you have something you need?"
Her: "No, I just want to go to eBay to buy stuff!"

Say it straight

My daughter Aisha had the first meusli bar from a box. We'd had that particular brand before and she recognised the flavour. But instead of saying it directly, she said "This taste reminds me of the time a little girl called Aisha had a meusli bar that tasted just like this one".

Please, God

As my 5-year-old son and I were headed to McDonald's one day, we passed a car accident. Usually when we see something terrible like that we say a prayer for those who might be hurt. So I pointed to the accident and said to my son, "We should pray." From the back seat I heard his earnest request: "Please, God, don't let those cars block the entrance to McDonald's."

Feet confusion

When my son was about 4 years old, he put his right shoe on his left foot and his left shoe on his right foot. I said, "Danny, you've got your shoes on the wrong feet!" He looked down at his feet, somewhat confused and replied, "No I don't. These are my feet!"

No tricks

One of my first graders told me yesterday morning that I could never trick her. She said, "Even if you say there's an elephant behind me I'll never look because I know we're at school and not the zoo."

Just counting them

When my oldest child was 5 years old, I caught him with his hand in the canister of chocolate chips. He was quite surprised when I walked into the kitchen and asked hem what he thought he was doing. He promptly replied, "I was just going to count them for you."

November May

Student: "My birthday's in November."
Me: "What day in November?"
Student: "May 12th!"