Funny things kids say

Here is the full list of funny quotes. These sayings come from the kids at my local school, reader submissions and aggregated from all over the Internet. I'm hoping to make this one of the largest collections of funny kid's sayings around.

You can also add your own sayings, or view 5 random funny quotes!

Please, God

As my 5-year-old son and I were headed to McDonald's one day, we passed a car accident. Usually when we see something terrible like that we say a prayer for those who might be hurt. So I pointed to the accident and said to my son, "We should pray." From the back seat I heard his earnest request: "Please, God, don't let those cars block the entrance to McDonald's."

Feet confusion

When my son was about 4 years old, he put his right shoe on his left foot and his left shoe on his right foot. I said, "Danny, you've got your shoes on the wrong feet!" He looked down at his feet, somewhat confused and replied, "No I don't. These are my feet!"

No tricks

One of my first graders told me yesterday morning that I could never trick her. She said, "Even if you say there's an elephant behind me I'll never look because I know we're at school and not the zoo."

Just counting them

When my oldest child was 5 years old, I caught him with his hand in the canister of chocolate chips. He was quite surprised when I walked into the kitchen and asked hem what he thought he was doing. He promptly replied, "I was just going to count them for you."

November May

Student: "My birthday's in November."
Me: "What day in November?"
Student: "May 12th!"

Greater than or equal to

Her: "How many days are there in a year?"
Me: "Usually 365"
Her: "That's way too many."
Me: "Well, sometimes there are 366"
Her: "No way! I can't even count that high! I can only count to a million!"


Overheard between two little girls
Girl 1: "Wow, you know so much"
Girl 2: "No, I only know half of the things in the world".

Where's your bottom?

We have a little girl in our pre school who is a real fidget, she is always being told to put her bottom on the chair, floor or wherever it should be. (I'm sure you get the picture !) One day when she was partcularly jumpy, the supervisor said to her "where's your bottom supposed to be ?" The little girl looked at her for a minute and said "In my pants !!!"


Can you turn the dark off please?