Here is the full list of funny quotes. These sayings come from the kids at my local school, reader submissions and aggregated from all over the Internet. I'm hoping to make this one of the largest collections of funny kid's sayings around.
You can also add your own sayings, or view 5 random funny quotes!
I came in to check on my kids eating dinner. Had told them they had to eat their veggies. The son I knew would not comply was missing his plate. I checked the garbage and sink. He piped up at that time, worried, and said "Don't check the closet ok mom?"
My 9 year old niece lost her tooth last week, but in her house the toothfairy stops once you reach nine. So she said to her mum 'what should I do with it' Her little sister answered 'Give it to me, I'll put it under my pillow!!' She's 7.
After discussing the reason we were about to have the following Monday off from school, and after having read the book "What Is Martin Luther King Day" to my kindergarten class, I asked my students if they could recall the reason for the holiday. One of my students very proudly raised is hand, and before I could call on him, shouted, "It's Martha Looking Clean Day!"
After an underwear commercial featuring a new bra, my 4 year old daughter turned and stated with urgency; "Mommy, you need to take me to WalMart and buy me some boobs so I can get me one of those bras."
Me and Chloe are going to share a house when we are adults. There will be a bunk bed with a single bed at the top and a double bed at the bottom, in case one of us gets a boyfriend.
"Mum! You have big ugly lumps of fat with nipples on them!"
Fine, I'll be sure to never let my child see me without a shirt on again.
We went to the bakery and while I was waiting, my 6 yr old son said to the person that was helping us, do you know those cigarettes you have up there are bad for your health? You should put candies or toys up there to sell Not Cigarettes!!!!!!
I lost it laughing so did the person attending us.
While doing a constellation project, the students were each given a handful of star stickers. They were the old-fashioned kind that must be licked to stick. One of the boys complained that his stars kept falling off. My student teacher went over to him and saw that his paper was practically dripping saliva. She explained, "The stars only need a LITTLE BIT of moisture to stick. Just touch it to your tongue quickly."
He said, "I DID! SEVENTEEN TIMES!!"
My oldest son when he was five and I was pregnant with his brother did not believe I had a baby in my belly. He came to the 20 week ultrasound with us. The next day he went to school with the ultrasound picture for show and tell. He told the class, "I know my mom's really got a baby in her belly now because he saw it on TV!"
My 4 year old niece was on the toilet and screamed "Auntie I can't go!" I replied, "why?". She said "It's holding on for dear life!" (funny, it was a #2)