Funny things kids say

Here is the full list of funny quotes. These sayings come from the kids at my local school, reader submissions and aggregated from all over the Internet. I'm hoping to make this one of the largest collections of funny kid's sayings around.

You can also add your own sayings, or view 5 random funny quotes!

Different sayings

The reason why my son say putter-pullers is because he uses them to push his swing!


We were driving to dinner with our 5 year old in the back when she announced with great excitement that she had an ear whack. I turned around to find it was ear wax. I corrected her but she insisted that "no it's only one bit so it's an ear whack, if it was two it would be wax". So now she asks me to clean her ears to make sure she doesn't have any ear whacks in them.


My three-year-old pooped in her plastic potty and then remarked, "Look, my poop made a letter so that I can learn to spell." It was an "A" and it retained its shape when I dumped it in the big toilet which we both found delightful.

Talking flowers

The summer my daughter was three she came running upstairs so excited to tell me
"Mommy! the flowers *talk*!!!"
I asked what they said...
"They said they don't have a problem with anything"
She ran back down and outdoors singing.


My son tells my husband, "Daddy? I want a haircut just like yours. Do you shave your forehead?"


When my daughter was 3, I was trying to put her down for a nap, and she was claiming she wasn't tired. I told her, "I saw you yawning" and she said, "I wasn't yawning! I was just stretching ou my mouth!"

Remembrance Day

This was a Remembrance (Armistice) Day to remember. We were at church and everyone stood quietly for the minute silence. The whole church was completely quiet. I had my toddler son, balanced on my hip as we stood respectfully. Suddenly his little voice shouted out around the church "Mummy you're squashing my willy!"

Peeling an orange

My little boy will get an orange and ask "can you take the jacket off?"


"Hey mommy ... look my pee pee "growed" ..and it's really big!


We were having pancakes, and my daughter asked "mum, are these pilots?", and we replied in confusion "er ... no, pilots are people who fly aeroplanes". It clicked a few minutes later that she meant pikelets