Here is the full list of funny quotes. These sayings come from the kids at my local school, reader submissions and aggregated from all over the Internet. I'm hoping to make this one of the largest collections of funny kid's sayings around.
You can also add your own sayings, or view 5 random funny quotes!
One morning Daddy was making his son, Harry - age 3, a bowl of cereal. Mom, the usual cereal maker, was out that morning. Harry LOVES his cereal crunchy and will settle for nothing less. Daddy poured too much milk in the cereal and naturally, Harry did not enjoy eating his bowl of soggy cereal.
The next morning, same routine. Daddy asked, "Harry, do you want Daddy to make another bowl of cereal like yesterday?" Harry responded, "No thanks Daddy, you don't make it good."
Me: Josh, are you a big brother now?
Josh: yeah, Gabriel isn't in mommy's tummy any more. They pushed so hard mommy went POP. and now Gabriel's here!
Our six year old daughter had been learning about organic vegetables at school and we looked out for some when we went shopping. We couldn't see them, so my daughter went up to a young lady assistant, pointed at a cucumber and asked in her regular (very loud) voice if that was an orgasmic vegetable! Needless to say, I disappeared round the corner of the aisle as fast as I could!
Child: "We're learning Absolutely Everybody at school and I know the whole song!"
Mum: "That's great! Why don't you sing it for me?"
Child: "I can't, I don't know any of the words."
Child: "Look, we've all got the same fork!"
Mum: "No we don't, we've all got different forks"
Child: "No, thats not what I meant, I meant Ryan and me have a knife and fork and mum's just got a fork"
Mum: "Thats not what you said"
Child "Yes it is!"
Four-year-old holding up a toy: Mommy, can I get this?
Mom: It says it's for kids ages eight and up. How old are you?
Four-year-old: Um... eight.
I commented to my daughter I was getting fat. She put her arms around me, said "No mum, you're only *this* big. You're not fat like Josie's Pop and Josie's Nan and Josie's Mum and Josie's Dad. Even the boys in Josie's family are pregnant!"
I just couldn't stop laughing. She was right, they are all fat ...
Kid 1 - "So we had to submit designs for a tshirt...everyone had to, and my design won!"
Kid 2 - "Yeah, well i won a colouring in competition in grade one!"
Girl 1: ... She's not Asian, she's Filipino!
Girl 2: It's the same thing.
Girl 1: Yeah, but she's not like Asian Asian.
Girl 2: What, just cos it's not on the same continent.
Girl 1: But they all have to have 'ese', you know, like Chinese, Japanese...
One of the girls hit Bailey.
Bailey: (To Jill) She hitted me!
Jill: Well tell her not to.
Bailey: (Points in girl's face) NOT TO!