Funny things kids say

Here is the full list of funny quotes. These sayings come from the kids at my local school, reader submissions and aggregated from all over the Internet. I'm hoping to make this one of the largest collections of funny kid's sayings around.

You can also add your own sayings, or view 5 random funny quotes!


When my daughter was 3, I was trying to put her down for a nap, and she was claiming she wasn't tired. I told her, "I saw you yawning" and she said, "I wasn't yawning! I was just stretching ou my mouth!"

Remembrance Day

This was a Remembrance (Armistice) Day to remember. We were at church and everyone stood quietly for the minute silence. The whole church was completely quiet. I had my toddler son, balanced on my hip as we stood respectfully. Suddenly his little voice shouted out around the church "Mummy you're squashing my willy!"

Peeling an orange

My little boy will get an orange and ask "can you take the jacket off?"


"Hey mommy ... look my pee pee "growed" ..and it's really big!


We were having pancakes, and my daughter asked "mum, are these pilots?", and we replied in confusion "er ... no, pilots are people who fly aeroplanes". It clicked a few minutes later that she meant pikelets

Getting old and fat

"When you are an adult, you stop growing up and start growing out. Then you get bigger and bigger until you are as fat as the whole world!"

Solar Power

"you know it comes from those roof windows so we don't waste electricity"

Nose picking

"I'm not picking my nose, I'm sharpening my finger!"

Energy rating

My daughter pointed at the energy rating on the fridge - the one that gives you 5 stars if its good - and asks me "Mum, does that say 'angry eating'?"

Dog or leopard?

A kindergarten student was so excited to tell me that he got a new dog. "I got a new dog!" "Oh!, how wonderful! What kind?" I said. "a Sherman Leopard!" Needless to say, I lost it and gave him a big hug and found him a book about German Shepherds!