Here is the full list of funny quotes. These sayings come from the kids at my local school, reader submissions and aggregated from all over the Internet. I'm hoping to make this one of the largest collections of funny kid's sayings around.
You can also add your own sayings, or view 5 random funny quotes!
My 5-year-old told me she's gonna have two babies, (they're in "eggs" in her tummy right now), and they're one girl and one boy. I asked her what their names are going to be and she goes "Annie and Daddy Warbucks." You can tell what we watch 50 times a day!
So we were at the fancy restaurant tonight with my mother-in-law. My son and I come back from the bathroom. My daughter says "what took you so long?". He says as loud and proud as ever "I was pooping!"
My friend's son is afraid of thunderstorms. My friend told her son however, that God was just bowling and that's why the "booms" are so loud. Another loud clap of thunder errupted and with wide eyes, her son said: "Gee, he's good!"
My daughter was about two yrs old and had just gotten out of the bath. I carried her out to the livingroom in a big towel and sat her on the couch. While I was back in the bathroom to clean up, she had unwrapped and was cruising around in the buff. When I came back to the front room she had her hand on her bum with a horrified look on her face. I asked her "What's the matter baby?" and she replies, "Mommy! There's a hole in my bum and I just put my pinger in it!!"
Just a few days after I found out that I'm pregnant, I made plans to go to lunch with a friend and her three year-old daughter. When they came to pick me, my friend's daughter turned to her and said, "Sarah has two puppies and a baby?" There's no way she could have known that I'm pregnant.
When one of my daughters was being potty trained I put some perfume on her then right after that she needed to sit on the potty. She was sitting there with the door open when my husband came walking by. She called "Daddy, come smell me."
Getting my daughter out of the bath she looks down at her shrivelled up little fingers and says, "Wook, my fingers are scared!"
My kids were playing a game whilst on a long journey and they had to all think of things that have a hole in. One answered 'willies'!! They decided to play a different game after that!
So I'm in the bathroom with my 4 year old. Trying to brush his teeth. He is on the floor rattling off a story to me. I'm multi-tasking, you know, picking up a bit, wiping the counter down, bending over to put something under the sink.
I stand up and start to reach around to pull the shorts which seem to have found their way up my butt at some point during my multi-tasking efforts out and mid-sentence he reaches up, grabs my shorts, tugs them out of my buttcrack and continues on with his saga.
Me: What did you just do?
Him: I was pulling your shorts (giggles start) our of your BUM!
I'm pregnant with my second baby. My son is four and my friends daughter will be five next month. They were talking about how the baby comes out and my son asked me how they came out. I told him and he said that Hanna told him that when it's time the girl has to push really hard on her knees and then the baby will come out. I thought that was pretty well thought out considering when you watch something on TV like a baby story they usually show the women holding her knees up and that could totally come across as pushing on the knees.