Long hair
ME: Do you think we should get you a hair cut?
HER: No Mummy, I want long beautiful hair ... like a mermaid ... like a beautiful princess ... just like Daddy
Funny things kids say
Here is the full list of funny quotes. These sayings come from the kids at my local school, reader submissions and aggregated from all over the Internet. I'm hoping to make this one of the largest collections of funny kid's sayings around.
You can also add your own sayings, or view 5 random funny quotes!
Mispronounciation
One of my kids pronounced everything off just a little bit...
He wanted to check out books from the strawberry.
He asked for more hostages (instead of sausages) for dinner.
His favorite character in Batman was Toothpaste. (Two Face)
Brainwashing
My son was about 4, it was right after Halloween and he was in a very giving mood. He said, "I'm going to share all my candy with everyone in the whole world except the devil, the bad guys, and the Dallas Cowboys."
Shooting us
We had a police officer visit our school and have a conversation with the children regarding safety, etc. When he left, a 3 year old girl said to me “He didn’t even try and shoot us!” I never even thought the children would worry about that!
Dead dog
This 4 year old boy told me “My dog Lupa died and we put her in the garbage.”
I said “You mean you buried her?” He said “Oh yeah. We buried her and then we had a wedding.”
Past future tense
Preschoolers often have difficulty with present and past tense. It’s so funny! I had a student say to me once “I saw a tiger yesterday a long time ago.”
Lego ships
We were building lego ships together. Will looked at my effort and said "you've done well Mummy, all things considered"
Going potty standing up
My son bragged to his entire preschool class and his teacher, "MY daddy can go potty standing up!"
Keep the change for candy
This is actually something my friend's daughter did. One day we stopped at a variety store and my friend had to quickly run in the bank beside it so she sent her daughter into the store with my money while I watched her from the car. My friend returned to the car and her daughter came out of the variety store with the loaf of bread and some candy. She asked her if she asked me if she could spend my money on the candy and her daughter replied "no". My friend initially accepted this answer but then asked her where she got the money then. Her answer: "the lady in the store gave it to me" (my change from buying the bread) We both laughed hysterically!!!
Invisible God
My 4 1/2 yr old son asked us out of the blue this weekend: "Is God invisible?" To which I naturally answered "Yes". The straightback question was: "Then how does he carry things?"