Funny things kids say

Here is the full list of funny quotes. These sayings come from the kids at my local school, reader submissions and aggregated from all over the Internet. I'm hoping to make this one of the largest collections of funny kid's sayings around.

You can also add your own sayings, or view 5 random funny quotes!


He was sitting on the potty and I said "did you go poop?" and he said... "NO mom, poop went away... its gone... it went away -- it went to walmart"!!!!

Necklaces for teeth

A little girl came up to my sister when she just got braces and asked, "Are those necklaces for your teeth?" She wanted to try them on...


When I was really little, I was sitting with my grandma and suddenly burst out with, "Grandma! You have breaks in your face!"


This morning my 3yr old son and I ran into the store.
He said,"Mom, it sure is windy out."
I said, "Why , yes it is."
He said," I sure am going to miss you when the wind blows me away."

You need to poop?

When my son was almost two and in the middle of potty training, we were in line at a store one day. He was used to us asking him if he had to go potty all the time, so he tried it out on me. When we were in the middle of the line, he grabbed the top of my jeans, tried to look down my underwear, and loudly asked, "Mommy, you need to poop?" Yes, it was quite embarrassing!

Shut up

We were in the car a few weeks ago and my son, who's almost 2, said "Shut up, Daddy". When I told him that wasn't a very nice way to talk to his daddy he said "Shut up, Daddy, please". At least I should be happy that he has manners!


One day last year I was picking my son up from school and he told me that his belly didn't feel that well during the day and that he had been sent to the office. He then told me that the school secretary/nurse had given him sardines and he felt much better.
I asked him "sardines, are you sure?"
"Yes, Mommy the white crackers they really helped!"
I couldn't stop laughing... I said "Nol, those are SALTINES not sardines."
I figured I better tell him the difference so he didn't grow up thinking that sardines settled an upset stomach...

Babies in tummies

I showed my 4 year old a picture of me when I was 9 months pregnant and I said "look you were in mommy's tummy in this picture." He looked at it for a minute and very seriously asked "Did you eat me"?


I was with my 5 year old niece and my mom. We were sitting at the kitchen table going through the mail. My niece found a sample packet of anti-wrinkle cream. She asked my mom “Grandma what is this?” She said “It's a cream that makes your wrinkles go away.” She yelled “What are you waiting for grandma! Put it on!”

Past future tense

Preschoolers often have difficulty with present and past tense. It’s so funny! I had a student say to me once “I saw a tiger yesterday a long time ago.”