Funny things kids say

Here is the full list of funny quotes. These sayings come from the kids at my local school, reader submissions and aggregated from all over the Internet. I'm hoping to make this one of the largest collections of funny kid's sayings around.

You can also add your own sayings, or view 5 random funny quotes!

We'll be right back

My little sister (age 4) told my son (age 2) who was crying that "Gramma will be right back after these messages" ...that's when we decided to cut down on TV time!

Girl or boy?

Today a little girl asked what my name was, to which I replied "Miss ______".
She then turned to discuss this with her friend before turning back to me and asking "Is that a girl's name or a boy's name?"

Belly button

We're still in the belly button phase here. Just yesterday he pulled up his shirt and stuck a finger in it, then declared
"Don't push bellybutton, I get hiccups!"
When I laughed and asked him about it, he said "Push belly button, I get hiccups, and go poop!"

Kitten please

The funniest thing that my nephew said was he wanted a baby girl kitten because my sister told him he was gonna have a baby sister or brother.


My son calls freckles "sprinkles." "Mommy, I have a sprinkle right here!"

Weight watchers

Last night, my husband made homemade pizza. It is the best. He's only gotten better over time.
Because I'm on the WW diet, I can only stare and drool. I stare for roughly five minutes with that delishiousness whafting up my nose and through my body and I can't take it. I start whining.
Me: "That smells so good! I can't stand diets when you do the cooking!"
My son: "Well, you can't have any. You have to count your points."
He's only 3! He shouldn't know this stuff by heart. Or maybe it is I that is talking about it too much. Doh!

Don't wake me up

The other morning I asked my husband to wake my daughter up and so he went in and started singing to her and she said "Daddy, stop with the singing of that song! I'm trying to sleep here!" And then she pulled the pillow over her head. I had tears streaming down my face I was laughing so hard.

Nikki Nouse

My name is Nikki. My little sister thought that I had the same name as Mickey Mouse, and she would call me Mickey. When my family finally convinced her that my name was not Mickey, she called Mickey Mouse 'Nikki Nouse'. It took several years for her to stop that.

Dying from the bath

The other night my 3-year-old daughter was in the bath and she yelled at me when she was ready to get out, and after I got her out, she says "Sometimes I feel like I'm dyin', but then you always save me."

Put it in your tummy

We were at dinner a few nights ago and my sister told my boyfriends little girl who is 2 yrs old to put her carrot in her tummy so she pulled up her shirt and tried to put it in there and said it won't go in. It was so funny.