Hookers
My son calls hangers "hookers". He's always very vocal about how many "hookers" are in the store when we are shopping.
Funny things kids say
Here is the full list of funny quotes. These sayings come from the kids at my local school, reader submissions and aggregated from all over the Internet. I'm hoping to make this one of the largest collections of funny kid's sayings around.
You can also add your own sayings, or view 5 random funny quotes!
Bubble farts
My son was in the tub last night and said "mommy I tooted bubbles"!!!!
How rude
My son when 3 at Christmas time recieved a sweater from my grandmother. He threw it, pointed at her and said "And don't you ever, ever buy me clothes presents again"!
Cacti
We were fishing about a month ago. We were driving down the road in silence when out of nowhere, my son yells "Oh my God, a cactus!!" I thought it was so funny because we live in the desert and there are cacti everywhere!
Cutlery
I went to pick up my eldest, Marcus, from pre-school, and when I entered the room, he was sitting underneath a table playing "Indians" with his good friend Christian (who obviously was the Chief).
Christian grabbed a small wooden stick lying on the floor and whispered loudly: "I have a knife!"
Marcus looked at him for a very long moment, as if not knowing quite how to respond", and then he slowly picked another small wooden stick, and said: "I have a fork!"
I managed to keep a straight face......for about 25 seconds!
Behaviour break
My daughter just got out of a time out for putting the cat's food in his water dish. So she comes out of her room afterward and announces that she's "done behaving".
Exchange policy
Before finding out the sex of my third child, my 8 year old asked, "if it's a boy can we take it back?"
Nipples
My son is fascinated with nipples. To his grandmother he said, "you have big nipples." To me he said, "you have hairy nipples."
All these things are true.
Aliens
Yesterday as we're driving home...
X: Mommy, look! An aliens!
Me: An alien? where?
X: No an Aliens! with the lights!
Me: (looking around for what he could possibly be talking about) OH...the Ambulance?
X: YES! The aliens!
I love these mispronunciations sometimes.
Where cats go
Our cat Critter passed away a few weeks ago, so when my five year old daughter came home she asked 'where's Critter mommy?' I had let her know that he had passed on, so she kinda looked around the house and I watched her. Then she turned and looked at me and said 'mommy? did you give Critter to heaven?', I just thought it was cute.