Here is the full list of funny quotes. These sayings come from the kids at my local school, reader submissions and aggregated from all over the Internet. I'm hoping to make this one of the largest collections of funny kid's sayings around.
You can also add your own sayings, or view 5 random funny quotes!
Me: What's this word here?
Boy in Class: Fyoomuns. You know...a fyoomuns.
Me: ???
Boy in Class: I spelled it.
Me: So I see, well is it some sort of club?
Boy in Class: no, I'm a fyoomun.
Me: oh?
Boy in Class: We all are fyoomuns.
Me: *slaps own forehead* You mean a HUMAN?
Boy in Class: Duh Miss!
When we got a new puppy one day I came into the room where my son was playing with him. He was saying..."Now, son, you behave yourself!"
My daughter age 5, was watching Barbie and Ken and when they kissed in the movie she looked up and said to me, "Does he love her now?" and I said "aww yes of course he does" and she said "well why havn't they taken their clothes off then?" I was speechless.
My dad got remarried & had 3 more kids, when we were out at a restaurant the oldest (who is now taller than I will EVER be) had to use the bathroom so he said: My penis has a headache! (my step-mother figured she should teach him the proper name for body parts, I think she stopped with him!)
My mates little boy is 2 years old.
He went into the kitchen one afternoon and we heard him moving a chair and being very quiet so we went to see what he was doing. He was standing at the sink pouring a whole bottle of fabric conditioner down the drain. Then he turned around and put the bottle down. My friend picked it up and asked him why it wasn't full.
"Daddy did it!" came the reply and he pointed out the kitchen window.
His dad doesnt live there and he hadn't been round for 4 days...
I have realllllly long skinny toes and I was asked why God put fingers on my feet.
My daughter, at age 3, after watching her brother throw up, asked me, "Mommy - what he do?" I said, "He threw up." She said, "Did you tell him he could do that?"
When my brother and I were growing up our step-father worked in a paper plant that had three shifts; morning, swings and graveyard. My brother thought that when he would have to work a swing-shift this meant that he was playing on some swings and when he worked graveyard he was actually working in a graveyard.
"But then I thought about it, and decided that I'm not ready for that yet! I'm only seven! So I gave the ring to my teacher and told him what happened and that I'm not ready to be married."
-- My daughter, telling me a story about a boy who gave her a "marriage ring" at school!
My 7 year old said something which made me smile one day. I always get her a bottle of water on way to school, on way back home after school she was complaining
how her water tasted all watery.