Poop
Me and my mum and sister took my nephew, then aged 3 to the childrens' church service on Christmas Eve last year. Right in the middle of a prayer he wailed at the top of his voice "I need a pooooo!"
Funny things kids say
Here is the full list of funny quotes. These sayings come from the kids at my local school, reader submissions and aggregated from all over the Internet. I'm hoping to make this one of the largest collections of funny kid's sayings around.
You can also add your own sayings, or view 5 random funny quotes!
Car plumber
My son called the mechanic a "car plumber" one day. I guess because he was underneath the car like a plumber.
Crotch ego
I baby-sit for my neighbors' kids and one day I was taking care of their 4 year old son. I think we must have been watching cartoons and the word "ego" came up. So their son turned to me and said: "What's an ego? Is it this?"
And he pointed to his crotch...
Udders
I took my nephew upstairs to use the loo, and he said to me "Auntie Lizzy, do you have a winky?" and I said "No, because I am a girl" and he replied "Oh, so you have an udder like a cow then!"
Reminiscing
My son was telling me about the good ol' days. We were in my parent's basement and I found a pair of pj pants from when he was a baby. I picked them up and told him that he used to fit in to those when he was just a little baby. He sat down beside me, put his head on my shoulder and became teary eyed and said "Yeah, Mommy, those were the good ol' days."
Wasn't me
My two year old has been pooping in the tub lately. When I asked her about the latest time she said "No" and pointed to the dog and "babble babble babble". She tried to blame the poor dog for the poop in the tub!!
Obviously
Me: Do you want breakfast?
My son: Obviously.
He's three and a half.
Seeing Santa
I just met the cutest little girl in the shop! The line for the cash point had gotten so long it was touching the line for santa's grotto. A girl of about 5 years old turned to me, tugged on my trouser leg and said "Exchoose me, are you waiting to see santa?"
No penis?
I was taking a shower and my son who was 3 at the time turned around and saw me before I could hurry up and put the towel around me. He asked me, "Why don't you have a pee-pee like me and daddy?" So I told him that girls don't have pee-pees like boy's. So he looked at me and said,"Well I'll tell daddy to buy you one".
Mouthwash
My 5-year old boy wanted to try mouthwash. So, I put a little bit in a paper cup for him and told him to just swish it around in his mouth and then spit it out. I warned, "but don't swallow it or you'll throw up...".
So, sure enough - he swallowed it. Leave it to kids.
He didn't say anything for about 5 seconds, but he had this really worried look on his face. Then he said in a very worried little voice, "Am I going to throw up now?"