Short people
I had to go pick up a book today for my business stuff, and as we were leaving, my daughter asked, "What book did you get?" So I told her it was a book for big people, for my job, and she asked, "It's not for short people?"
Funny things kids say
Here is the full list of funny quotes. These sayings come from the kids at my local school, reader submissions and aggregated from all over the Internet. I'm hoping to make this one of the largest collections of funny kid's sayings around.
You can also add your own sayings, or view 5 random funny quotes!
Rubber gloves
My nan always told me about the time me and my best friend were playing and I said where do babbies come from and she said I dont no but I think you need rubber gloves
I like chocolate
When my son was little his sister gave him some vanilla ice cream. He very seriously said, " sorry, Sissy, but Jesus made me like chocolate!"
Itchybum
Yesterday after hubby and Jack got home from buying a sled and playing in the snow...
Mommy: Jack, did you go to the store with daddy?
Jack: Um yes
Mommy: What did you get at the store?
Jack: I got an itch!
Mommy: Where do you have an itch?
Jack: Right here in my pants! (stated while scratching his butt)
Bellybutt
My son has recently been obsessed with his bellybutton. Everytime he has a diaper change he immediately pokes his finger in it. He'll even lift up his shirt and bend over just to find it. However, he can't quite say bellybutton just yet. He calls it his...
BellyButt!
Aww, she loves me
My 11 year old was talking back to me, so I sent her to her room. My sister-in-law was there, and my 2 year old was sitting on her lap. My in-law asked her "Is Mommy gonna send you to your room too?" and my 2 year old said "No, she wuvs me."
Fat bum
The funniest thing I've ever heard was from my cousin. She was about 4 and I was dressing her for the day. She picked out a pair of underwear and I said "Those are sooo cute! Do you think they'd fit me?" (I was joking because she was reluctant to put them on). She said "No, your butt is too big. Kinda like grandma's."
Funny words
My daughter, when she was about 9, was asked to name parts of the body for homework once, the more obscure the better. So to encourage her to think about it too, my mum and I asked her to say certain words.
We suggested the medical word for skin, which is dermis. To get her to think we said, 'What do you call a thick person?' to which she replied, 'A der?'. We then asked, 'What do you call a lady that's not married?'
She said, 'A virgin?'
Ah, the innocence of youth!
Don't break my truck
My three-year-old was sitting at the table having breakfast.
My husband tripped over his fire truck riding toy, and Ethan promptly hops down from the chair and moves his truck from the middle of the floor to his toy room.
He then says, "I moved my fire truck out from the middle of the floor so you won't trip over it and fall down."
My husband replied, "Thank you, Ethan. That was so thoughtful of you."
Knowingly, I replied, "Were you concerened daddy might fall over?" Ethan said, "Yes. I dont want him falling on my truck and breaking it."
Dalmation
One of my foster kids got some bug bites playing outside. He said " now I look like a dalmation".