Funny things kids say

Here is the full list of funny quotes. These sayings come from the kids at my local school, reader submissions and aggregated from all over the Internet. I'm hoping to make this one of the largest collections of funny kid's sayings around.

You can also add your own sayings, or view 5 random funny quotes!

Big words

My nephew is 7 years old and he just cracks me up with the terminology this kid has. I was in the car with him and he was playing his DS in the car. There was a little silver suitcase next to him on the seat and I asked him if that was the case for his games and he says, "Not necessarily"
Then later on, he was telling me about this camera that his dad got him and how he likes to take pictures of "inanimate objects" and that he took a picture of the toilet after he peed in it.

Close resemblance

There is a lady that apparently I look like. People think that I am her all the time. I don't see it. I don't think so. I asked my daughter once if I looked like this other lady. My daughter said, "Oh no...she's much prettier."
thanks. glad I asked...


My Mum always tells the story of my brother, when very young he saw the picture of a stag and he said 'look mummy it's a cow with trees on!'

Not Britney

The other night I was at my computer and he was watching some show on tv. I have a headset so that when I am listening to music I don't disturbed my husband or son when they are watching tv. My son came over to me and said "Mom, who sings that song?" I looked at him and said "what" and he repeated the question. I guess I had been singing along and didn't realize it. So I said "Britney Spears" well without missing a beat and with a totally serious look he says and I quote "You should leave it that way"


One day I was babysiting my grandniece she was four at the time. She saw my old LPs(records) and she picked one up and said "look at the big CD!". I guess she had never seen a LP before.

Short people

I had to go pick up a book today for my business stuff, and as we were leaving, my daughter asked, "What book did you get?" So I told her it was a book for big people, for my job, and she asked, "It's not for short people?"

Rubber gloves

My nan always told me about the time me and my best friend were playing and I said where do babbies come from and she said I dont no but I think you need rubber gloves

Fat bum

The funniest thing I've ever heard was from my cousin. She was about 4 and I was dressing her for the day. She picked out a pair of underwear and I said "Those are sooo cute! Do you think they'd fit me?" (I was joking because she was reluctant to put them on). She said "No, your butt is too big. Kinda like grandma's."

I like chocolate

When my son was little his sister gave him some vanilla ice cream. He very seriously said, " sorry, Sissy, but Jesus made me like chocolate!"


Yesterday after hubby and Jack got home from buying a sled and playing in the snow...
Mommy: Jack, did you go to the store with daddy?
Jack: Um yes
Mommy: What did you get at the store?
Jack: I got an itch!
Mommy: Where do you have an itch?
Jack: Right here in my pants! (stated while scratching his butt)