Heartbeep
My son put his head on my chest last night and promptly announced he could hear my heart beeping.
Funny things kids say
Here is the full list of funny quotes. These sayings come from the kids at my local school, reader submissions and aggregated from all over the Internet. I'm hoping to make this one of the largest collections of funny kid's sayings around.
You can also add your own sayings, or view 5 random funny quotes!
Biology lesson
My girlfriend once took her seven year old son to the market after school. Unbeknownst to her, they had a little biology lesson that day. The little boy sees a girl about his age in the market place, and says, "You have a lovely vulva!"
Difficult task
My son was dawdling getting dressed this morning. He kept telling me he "had to drive his cars to the garage!" (playing hotwheels). After about 10 minutes he finally had all his cars where he wanted them, and came over to me to get dressed. He looked me in the face and said...
"THERE! Was that so difficult?!?"
Windy
My mother has an house daycare. One day I was in the yard playing with the little kids. The wind was blowing hard. There are a lot of tall pine trees in my parents yard. A little boy looked up at the tall trees that were swaying in the wind, and said "the trees are making wind". I thought that was funny, yet somewhat...poetic.
Oprah opera
Ever since Christmas when my daughter sang a song opera style and made everyone laugh, she does it quite freqently. Earlier this week, she was singing a song opera style, and it had been going on for quite some time. I politely asked her to please stop singing because it was starting to give me a headache. "But MOM! I'm singing OPRAH!" she said.
Sore ... something
We were driving to daycare yesterday when my son started whining in the back seat
"Mommy, I have a headache"
You do? Where does it hurt?
"In my tummy"
Animal cookies
Sean's eating his animal cookies and I hear the following:
Dad: "Hey, buddy, is that a bird?"
Sean: "No. It's a cookie."
Please?
3 year old: "Remote, please."
Me: "No, honey, you can't play with this."
3 year old: "Why not? I said please."
Driving
Yesterday:
Her: When I get older, I'm going to drive a car.
Me: Yep....
Today:
Her: Am I older today?
Me: Yep.....
Her: That means I can drive the car.
Hair dye
A couple weeks ago, I allowed my daughter to put temporary red streaks in her hair (winter break). She was quizzing me about temporary hair dye, permanant hair dye, how it works, etc. I explain to her at some point that it's a bad idea to start dying your hair permanantly, because then you have to continue to do it the rest of your life, or else your hair will be half one color, and half another. She said, "Like yours?" with a smirk on her face.