Funny things kids say

Here is the full list of funny quotes. These sayings come from the kids at my local school, reader submissions and aggregated from all over the Internet. I'm hoping to make this one of the largest collections of funny kid's sayings around.

You can also add your own sayings, or view 5 random funny quotes!

Sore ... something

We were driving to daycare yesterday when my son started whining in the back seat
"Mommy, I have a headache"
You do? Where does it hurt?
"In my tummy"

Animal cookies

Sean's eating his animal cookies and I hear the following:
Dad: "Hey, buddy, is that a bird?"
Sean: "No. It's a cookie."


3 year old: "Remote, please."
Me: "No, honey, you can't play with this."
3 year old: "Why not? I said please."


Her: When I get older, I'm going to drive a car.
Me: Yep....
Her: Am I older today?
Me: Yep.....
Her: That means I can drive the car.

Hair dye

A couple weeks ago, I allowed my daughter to put temporary red streaks in her hair (winter break). She was quizzing me about temporary hair dye, permanant hair dye, how it works, etc. I explain to her at some point that it's a bad idea to start dying your hair permanantly, because then you have to continue to do it the rest of your life, or else your hair will be half one color, and half another. She said, "Like yours?" with a smirk on her face.

Rollercoaster flight

Tuesday night we flew home from our vacation to California. The flight was horrid, turbulence the entire way into Denver thanks to a snow storm.
My son, sitting nice and comfy in his carseat said "Mommy! It's a rollercoaster!"


I told my daughter I was having another baby.. She said I hope we have a boy or a girl.

Its raining pee

When trying to talk to my 2 year old about using the toliet. I ask her if she "needs to pee pee on the toliet". Recently when it rains, she'll say "Pee pee toliet outside". it took me a few days of rain to realize that was her way of saying it was raining.


The other day my son comes up to me while I'm on the computer and says, "Mom, are you checking your e-man?"


A fellow at work told me his granddaughter took him a cake for his birthday and when he said OH NO look at all the calories, she went and asked her mom if she had added calories, and she returned back to her grandpa and said Don't worry poppa, the recipe didn't call for any calories