Stuck poop
So my son is going through a tough time where he thinks that his parents are leaving him. Like he can't stand to be more than five feet away from them.
So his dad takes him to poop and he says, "daddy wait for me! My poopy's stuck!"
Funny things kids say
Here is the full list of funny quotes. These sayings come from the kids at my local school, reader submissions and aggregated from all over the Internet. I'm hoping to make this one of the largest collections of funny kid's sayings around.
You can also add your own sayings, or view 5 random funny quotes!
Slow pooper
I have a dawdler, he'll sit on the toilet forever... and I tried to rush him the other day it was:
"Mommy!! Why won't you let me poop!"
I love you
My 5yo son has a tendency to grab hold of someone and try and plant a sloppy kiss on their cheek and then proceeds to say "I fell in love with you"
Church Jeopardy
My son is watching Jeopardy, and answered correctly a biblical question. He then shouts, "Church works!" as if the whole purpose of church is to learn things in order to be able to correctly answer Jeopardy questions.
Hold on
My daughter was sitting in her car seat in the back of the car, She suddenly had to use the bathroom, so I said to her " Hold on honey, just pinch your cheeks together until I find a place to stop" I turned around to look at her and she was sitting there squeezing her face and cheeks as hard as she could. Wrong cheeks sweetie....lol
Tomatoes
Her, looking at the tomato plants: Look Mommy, baby tomatoes!
Me: Yep, when they turn red, we can eat them.
Her, 20 minutes later: Mommy, are those tomatoes red yet?
Lying
I caught my six year old son lying to his mother. I explained what a lie is and told him that if he did it again I would make him eat soap. My three year old daughter was standing beside my wife's chair and upon hearing the threat she said, "I'll get the soap!!" and happily headed to the bathroom.
Pick a sister
Telling my 8 year old the new baby is a boy and not to worry we will try for a sister next time, "so can i come with you to the hospital to pick it out? or do we go the doctor's to go do that?"
Tasty
My daughter has somehow arrived at the conclusion that tasty = bad. Whenever she doesn't want to finish eating or drinking something she says, "It's too tasty."
Elephantitis
One day I took a friend's little 4 year old daughter to the zoo. This friend is very overweight, but her daughter is not. When we got to the elephants the little girl stood watching for quite a long time and seemed to be fascinated with them. Then all of a sudden she turned to me and stated "My mummy is an elephant".