Funny things kids say

Here is the full list of funny quotes. These sayings come from the kids at my local school, reader submissions and aggregated from all over the Internet. I'm hoping to make this one of the largest collections of funny kid's sayings around.


You can also add your own sayings, or view 5 random funny quotes!

Get your own

After church tonight, I made the children do the chores they should have done yesterday. Here's what Julia said, "Home is supposed to be where I relax." I told her she could relax when she had her own house.

Aristocats

"I'm watching the astro kitties!" says my daughter, as she sits down to watch Disney's Aristocats.

Octopus

This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles.

Incontinent continents?

If you are surrounded by sea you are an island.
If you don't have sea all round you, you are incontinent.

Electric eels

Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they have to plug themselves into chargers.

Tasty germs

My eight-year-old son and i were shopping at the store. He had a package of Skittles that he was eating, and he kept dropping them on the floor. I tried not to notice as *cringe* he picked them back up and ate them. But when he dropped a whole bunch on the ground and started to pick them all up, I asked, "Don't you think that's gross? There's germs all over those!" He answered thoughtfully, "Yeah..but you can't really taste them."

Number 5

I went to pick up my 3 year old at my mothers house one day, and on the way home I asked him if he used the toilet. When he replied, yes, I asked #1 or #2. He answered, "I think #5, I went a lot!"

Windy

This morning my 3yr old son and I ran into the store.
He said,"Mom, it sure is windy out."
I said, "Why , yes it is."
He said," I sure am going to miss you when the wind blows me away."

Fishy crackers

One day last year I was picking my son up from school and he told me that his belly didn't feel that well during the day and that he had been sent to the office. He then told me that the school secretary/nurse had given him sardines and he felt much better.
I asked him "sardines, are you sure?"
"Yes, Mommy the white crackers they really helped!"
I couldn't stop laughing... I said "Nol, those are SALTINES not sardines."

Grow up, mum

Miss 5 just got really exasperated at me ... put her hands on her hips and declared ... "Mum, you're acting like a grown up!"
Um - what can one say?

Pages