Funny things kids say

Here is the full list of funny quotes. These sayings come from the kids at my local school, reader submissions and aggregated from all over the Internet. I'm hoping to make this one of the largest collections of funny kid's sayings around.


You can also add your own sayings, or view 5 random funny quotes!

Table manners

On Saturday we were having lunch at home and our daughter was eating food with her fingers when she ought to have been using her fork. My husband reminded her to use her fork, keep her napkin in her lap, sit up, etc. etc. (we go through this at every meal). She grudgingly did as she was told, but after a brief silence, piped up and said, "you know, well-behaved women rarely make history."
I nearly fell out of my chair I was laughing so hard.
When we recovered, we told her that phrase unfortunately doesn't apply to table manners.

Just a minute

I recently called my girlfriend and her 3 and a half year old daughter answered the phone.
"Hi Sweetie, it's Susan, can I talk to your mommy?"
"In a minute, she's pooping right now."

Orphan dress ups

"Can you help me, can you help me? I look like an orphan child." – 4 yo K. while trying to get her fancy dress on.

When will Jesus come?

We had just left church and were heading to lunch when my 4 yr old(at the time) asked "Momma when will Jesus come?" I said "We don't know for sure..it will be a big surprise." He then said "So maybe he is packing?"

Which is more important?

My Birthday is on Mother's Day AGAIN this year...My son, just told me " Mommy I can't figure something out, I don't know which is more special, your birthday or Mommy's Day, I am soooo confused!!" Isn't he adorable??

Mosquitoes

The inhabitants of Moscow are called Mosquitoes.

Plaster houses

Most of the houses in France are made of plaster of Paris.

Syntax

Syntax is all the money collected at the church from sinners.

Virgin forest

A virgin forest is a forest where the hand of man has never set foot.

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