Mom, when was color invented?
Mom, when was color invented?
Funny things kids say
Here is the full list of funny quotes. These sayings come from the kids at my local school, reader submissions and aggregated from all over the Internet. I'm hoping to make this one of the largest collections of funny kid's sayings around.
You can also add your own sayings, or view 5 random funny quotes!
Why did you marry Daddy?
Mommy, why did you marry Daddy, do you know?
Why are you asking me that!
Mommy, do you know where the closest weapon factory is?
Baby in mommy's uterus!
On a visit to our church during the week, my daughter runs up to our worship pastor (a young, single, very "guy" kind of man) and says, "My mommy has a baby growing in her uterus!" Stunned, and maybe a little embarrassed, he looked at me, then looked at our mutual friend (the children’s director), looked at my daughter, then looked at our friend ... grasping for a little help at how to respond. Finally, our friend nodded her head, and simply said, "yes." At this point I think he finally exhaled and said, "Right on. Congratulations."
Just pause it
So we’re reading a bed time story last night, when E decides he needs to go get something.
Me: But I’m reading the story, and you’ll miss it.
E: JUST PAUSE IT!
Not today
The other day my nursing toddler told me that I can only get kisses on the days that we nurse (right now we are nursing 2X per week). He said that Daddy can’t have any kisses because Daddy doesn’t nurse him. I asked him "what about grammy? She gets kisses, but she doesn’t nurse you" and he said "Grammy can have kisses because she doesn’t live with us" LOL – had me cracking up!!
Just like Daddy
setting: in the car on the way home from dinner out.
j: mommy?
me: yes?
j: i farted.
me: you did?
j: like daddy.
Aunty uncle
When my son was little, he and I had a funny conversation around the time his sister was about to have her first child:
Son: "Mom, if it’s a boy, I will be an uncle right?"
Me: "Yes."
Son: "And if it’s a girl, I will be an aunt?"
Me: "NO, you will still be an uncle."
Fanny hair
From my 8yo daughter:
Why do girls always get fanny hair? And why is it always brown? I want blonde fanny hair!
(I'm in Australia - fanny is the bit on the *front* not the back so she means pubic hair ... and my daughter is quite a dark a brunette!)
Eat you up
I love you so much I could eat you all up! (pause) But then I wouldn’t have a mama, and that wouldn't be good. (pause) But then we could sell your computer.