Funny things kids say

Here is the full list of funny quotes. These sayings come from the kids at my local school, reader submissions and aggregated from all over the Internet. I'm hoping to make this one of the largest collections of funny kid's sayings around.

You can also add your own sayings, or view 5 random funny quotes!

Can't hear you

My daughter covered her ears and said "Momma, can you hear me if I cover my ears"? I said yes, she said, "but why, I can't hear you if I cover my ears".

Quick trip to the graveyard

In our town there is a graveyard where the main street runs right through the center. My two daughters were discussing the situation when my 11 year old said she didn't understand why her grandmother would want to live right behind it. My 9 year old piped up," That's because when she goes, they won't have far to take her."


Mommy, does the 'MA' TV rating mean middle-aged?

Made in China

Mommy! This is made in Italy! I thought everything was made in China!

Baby in mommy's uterus!

On a visit to our church during the week, my daughter runs up to our worship pastor (a young, single, very "guy" kind of man) and says, "My mommy has a baby growing in her uterus!" Stunned, and maybe a little embarrassed, he looked at me, then looked at our mutual friend (the children’s director), looked at my daughter, then looked at our friend ... grasping for a little help at how to respond. Finally, our friend nodded her head, and simply said, "yes." At this point I think he finally exhaled and said, "Right on. Congratulations."

Just pause it

So we’re reading a bed time story last night, when E decides he needs to go get something.
Me: But I’m reading the story, and you’ll miss it.