Funny things kids say

Here is the full list of funny quotes. These sayings come from the kids at my local school, reader submissions and aggregated from all over the Internet. I'm hoping to make this one of the largest collections of funny kid's sayings around.

You can also add your own sayings, or view 5 random funny quotes!


Child brought home a half-finished sketch last night, copied from a magazine clipping.
A: "mum, do you think there is anything I could have done to improve my jungle picture?"
M: "I thought you'd only half finished it"
A: "yeah, I'm not allowed to keep working on it at home"
M: "so why ask that if you're not even close to finishing?"
I found it quite odd.

Fridges without cutlery?

"I think your fridge is a really good design. Its better than cutlery. But you need the cutlery to cut up the stuff in the fridge, so you can't have a fridge without cutlery"


Aisha was reading off the label of some water ices. She said "contains preserverations"
As in, rhymes with reverberations.


My little miss, aged 5 at the time I think, was most displeased with me. (I think I had done something terrible like not allowing her to eat a second bikkie).
"Mummy, when I grow up, I'm going to find a boy that you don't like and I'm going to marry him!"

Turn my buttons on

I was dressing our toddler and she demanded the buttons on her shirt be done up. Except she said "turn my buttons on"!

Dinosaur love

"RAWR !" That means I LOVE YOU in Dinosaur language.


When ever I hear my parents say blah blah blah blah blah then... I just say Sweet Nibilets


Back when my brother was attempting to get his 3yo son to give up dummies (pacifiers): "We’re going to send them to the poor children that don’t have any."
3yo replied, "Get mummy to make them some cookies instead."
I did enjoy his logic!

Tail envy

My daughter has a stuffed donkey and a stuffed siamese looking cat that she sleeps with. When I went in to get her up from her nap today she told me, "Donkey very mad." I asked her why donkey was so mad, and she answered, "Meow have chocolate tail!"
Poor donkey has tail envy.

Big dreams

We went through Wendy's drive-thru and ordered kids meals for the 6 and 3 year old. One started whining because he wanted a "BIG burger" and I eventually gave in. Handing him the sandwich I said "There, does this fulfill your dreams?" He looked at the sandwich, looked at me and said "Actually, my dreams are a little bigger then this."