Funny things kids say

Here is the full list of funny quotes. These sayings come from the kids at my local school, reader submissions and aggregated from all over the Internet. I'm hoping to make this one of the largest collections of funny kid's sayings around.

You can also add your own sayings, or view 5 random funny quotes!

Not enough

"I'm going to have another drink. I've had one drink too less today"

Trains are better than food

The toddler is currently good at dodging both food and sleep. So we just has this conversation, at 3:30 in the afternoon, while she was playing with her train set:
Her: "Trains!"
Us: "No, you need to eat your lunch or go to bed".
Her: "No no no no no. TRAINS."

I Believe

I Believe there is a mountain. I believe there is a wave. I believe that many of us are waiting for someone to help us through that place that none know about so forgive us Lord and say too bad for we are happy now.

Not my meow

The other day the baby took her beloved stuffed cat out into the backyard, put it in a puddle to give it a good bath, and then dragged it through the mud back inside. Needless to say we washed it and hung it on the line to dry.
While it was drying the baby still needed a stuffed cat to sleep with, so we gave her one of Aisha's.
The baby declared this strange cat to be "Aida's meow"

Daily RDI of fat

We had just baked a quiche with a new recipe for the first time and were examining it as it came out of the oven.
When we turned around we found the baby had grabbed the tub of margarine, opened it, and was happily sitting there eating it while we weren't looking.


The baby's new word is "hat". It just means anything that goes on your head.
It is very cute seeing her sit there with her bowl upside-down on her head announcing "Hat! Hat!", or when she puts her sippy cup or a shoe on your head and declares it to be a hat.


Aisha spotted a political magazine with a picture of a middle-eastern woman wearing a full length burka.
She pointed to it excitedly and said "is that a ninja?!"

Dark ducks

The baby is learning a word a day - today's word is "dark" but it has mixed meanings.
You get "dark" when you turn off the light switch (which she calls a "hoo-hoo").
But then you get "darks". Darks go "quack quack quack".

Change the sheets

Funniest thing said to me was about 30 years ago. I was minding the two-and-a-half year old next door child when I said I was going to change the sheets.
She looked at me sympathetically and said "did you wet the bed?"