Swimming poo
Our 2.5yo is toilet training. This morning she came marching up to me with a potty with wee *and* poo in it, swirling it around, and announced "Look! Swimming poo!"
Funny things kids say
Here is the full list of funny quotes. These sayings come from the kids at my local school, reader submissions and aggregated from all over the Internet. I'm hoping to make this one of the largest collections of funny kid's sayings around.
You can also add your own sayings, or view 5 random funny quotes!
French kissing
I had the two girls (9 and 2) in the bath together. After the bath, the bigger one announces "She kept kissing me! She stuck her TONGUE in my mouth! And she wiggled it around like a WORM! And she KEPT DOING IT!"
The next day, the little one was doing her best to French kiss *me*. Argh!
Flushed brush
My son, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me he’d dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. So I fished it out and threw it in the garbage. Zachary stood there thinking for a moment, then ran to my bathroom and came out with my toothbrush. He held it up and said with a charming little smile, "We better throw this one out too then, ’cause it fell in the toilet a few days ago"
Ewww ...
Headless
After my wife’s grandmother died, we explained to our three-year-old that when we went to the funeral home, Grandma would be there, but it would just be her body. My daughter thought for a second and then asked, What about her head?
Not that girl
I was babysitting my four year old niece and she was in her room for time-out after breaking one of her mom’s antiques. After being in there for about 20 minutes, she came out wearing a different outfit, her mom’s high heels and she used a fake accent to tell me that "she wasn’t the girl who broke anything, she was a different girl and she didn’t want to be in that room anymore."
Fight the baby
Our friend has about 14wks of pregnancy to go, her little bloke (2yrs) was laying on her belly when the new bub elbowed him. He gets up, lines up with his little fist clenched, frowns at her belly and says "My punch you back!"
Look in here
I'm out in the backyard, it's summer. 4 year old nephew has the hose, and he wants to soak his father. A little ways away, I've got the hose and can crimp it. Every time he goes to get his father wet, the flow of water "mysteriously" stops. So he looks down the hose. The flow of water "mysteriously" starts. After about three times, he goes up to his father and says, "Dad, look in here".
Poo scissors
A friend of mines little son was walking funny one day. When his mum asked him what was wrong, he said " I have itchy scissors ". When asked what and where these scissors were he replied, "You know the bit that cuts off your poos!!!". Makes me laugh writing it.
Broken bum
If you break your gluteus maximus, will you get constipated?
Left channel
A boy is laying in bed with his dad when his mom changed the channel on the TV for them.
Mom: Is that the right channel?
Dad: Yes, that's the right one.
Son: NO, Mommy, that is not the right channel.
Mom: Yes, it is. Daddy said that is the channel he wants.
Son: Well, then put it on the LEFT channel, Mom.