Funny things kids say

Here is the full list of funny quotes. These sayings come from the kids at my local school, reader submissions and aggregated from all over the Internet.

 
Showing 281 to 300 of 912
Mom, is it okay to lie to yourself?
My daughter got me with a zinger this morning. She turned 3 on Saturday, so much of the conversation at our house has been about what a big girl she is now.
As I was getting her dressed for preschool, she looked up at me and asked:
"Mommy, now that I'm a big girl, am I going to get a bra like you?" It was all I could do to keep a straight face. I explained that bras are for really, really big girls, like mommies.
Her response: "Why doesn't daddy have a bra?"
I couldn't resist the giggle, but I tried really hard to explain in simple terms that daddies don't have breasts and don't need them.
At which point, she said, "I have breasts, and that's why Santa's going to bring me a bra."
Not worth arguing about that with a 3-year-old. I just hope she forgets about it by the time Christmas rolls around.
Amie: What are you doing?
(I was looking for clean underwear in a laundry basket)
Me: Looking for underwear so I can take a shower, but can't seem to find any.
Amie:Maybe Daddy is wearing them.
LOL I cracked up so hard and she just smiled at me like "what?".
Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss
My friend's son has been telling me I'm his best friend for a couple of weeks. Then I told him off for snatching a bill from my desk, and ripping it up. He quite sternly told me I'm not his best friend any more.
We bought the baby a bigger dummy (pacifier). It looks virtually the same as the old one, but is a pastel green not a bright green. My older daughter noticed the new dummy and asked "mum, why is her dummy bleached?"
My daughter is very verbose. Today, I said "he's a bit slow" and she said "his time processes aren't particularly right"
Weath is the money, the health need money
I pointed at an ambulance that was driving by and said, "Look, Ben! An ambulance! It's taking sick people to the hospital so they can get better."
Ben studied it carefully, then exclaimed "Boo boo bus!" He's now calling all ambulances boo boo buses.
Brittany had an earache and wanted a pain killer. She tried in vain to take the lid off the bottle. Seeing her frustration, her Mum explained it was a child-proof cap and she'd have to open it for her. Eyes wide with wonder, the little girl asked: "How does it know it's me?"
My son calls nipples 'maypoles'. Also, any kind of blemish or bite that resembles a blemish is also called a maypole. Cracks me up. He has a slight rash on his bottom from wearing his bathing suit to camp, and he came to tell me about how he had maypoles all over his butt.
My daughter had a hard time believing that the peaches I gave her recently were not mangoes, so now both peaches and mangoes are peach-mangoes in order to reconcile this dilemma.
When my oldest was little, he called the Roadrunner a "beep duck."
My 2yo, as soon as we arrive at our destination in the car, yells "Buckle me out!" Because obviously, the opposite of buckling someone in must be buckling them out.
My 2-year-old asked if only preglet mommies got to wear preglet shirts (maternity)! At the time I was "preglet" myself and thought her word was a little too close to piglet. I've since embraced the cuteness!
Michael thinks that a microwave is a Michael-wave, unless it is at someone else's house, then it is (insert-name-here)-wave, as in Grandpa-wave.
My brother is a super picky eater - more so in his mind than in reality (as in, he's resistant to trying new things, but often likes them when forced). When he was 3 or so, we had pork chops. He wouldn't eat them, he only liked chicken. So, from then on my mother would tell him we were having chicken, which evolved into we're having chicken pork chops, chicken hamburgers, chicken steaks, etc. One day when she said we were having chicken, Chad piped up, "Chicken chicken... or another chicken?" So now we call it chicken chicken at our house.
My brother, who was not really that young, was looking out the window once at our hummingbird feeder. All of the sudden he shouted, "Mom! Come look at this baby hummingbird! It's tiny!" Well, yeah, it was, 'cause it was a bee. So now our family refers to bees as baby hummingbirds.
My daughter was upset at not getting her way (I think she wanted to go to the park) I was trying to distract her with ”lets walk to the creek instead, we can see the ducks” More crying so I said “Darling , you like ducks. I wonder what their names are? do you know what their names are”
Daughter stops crying and turns to me and says straight-faced “daddy they are JUST ducks”
My 2 year old son was going through my pregnancy photos. He liked the ones when my small bump showed and he seemed to like the idea that he was in there and I was fully clothed ... then he saw one when I was a week from popping and only dressed in my knickers (stretch marks and all) He screamed, Yuck mama, yuck put it away and proceeded to drop it in the dustbin.