Funny things kids say

Here is the full list of funny quotes. These sayings come from the kids at my local school, reader submissions and aggregated from all over the Internet. I'm hoping to make this one of the largest collections of funny kid's sayings around.

You can also add your own sayings, or view 5 random funny quotes!


When playing with our friends’ new baby boy, "We need to get one just like him."

Being sick

When asked if he is sick, he replied "No I'm not sick, my batteries have just runned out"

Double bed

Clinton was in his bedroom looking worried. When his Mum asked what was troubling him, he replied, "I don't know what'll happen with this bed when I get married. How will my wife fit in?"


Tammy was with her mother when they met an elderly, rather wrinkled woman her Mom knew. Tammy looked at her for a while and then asked, "Why doesn't your skin fit your face?"


Whilst driving along we passed a house which had concrete covering the bricks. The concrete was painted a rather horrible bright blue colour. My daughter enquired:
"Daddy, how does a house made of paint stay up?"


I don't like the look of Josiah's mum's face.

Delaying bedtime

When I was trying to put him to bed and he was stalling, "I am going to hug you and keep on hugging you until morning."


When getting a piggy back ride from me, I told him it was not a good idea. "Oh yes it is. You just have to go the chiropractor so many times and then you will be all good like Daddy."

Flabby arms

When my daughter was 3 we were visiting my mom in another state, in the summer, she was wearing a tank top and her "flabby" arms showed. Well my daughter walked up to her and said "nonny you have big jigglers my mom just has little ones!" We still laugh about it and measure our "jigglers" when we eat dessert!!!!