Funny things kids say

Here is the full list of funny quotes. These sayings come from the kids at my local school, reader submissions and aggregated from all over the Internet. I'm hoping to make this one of the largest collections of funny kid's sayings around.

You can also add your own sayings, or view 5 random funny quotes!


Whilst driving along we passed a house which had concrete covering the bricks. The concrete was painted a rather horrible bright blue colour. My daughter enquired:
"Daddy, how does a house made of paint stay up?"


When playing with our friends’ new baby boy, "We need to get one just like him."

Delaying bedtime

When I was trying to put him to bed and he was stalling, "I am going to hug you and keep on hugging you until morning."


When getting a piggy back ride from me, I told him it was not a good idea. "Oh yes it is. You just have to go the chiropractor so many times and then you will be all good like Daddy."

Flabby arms

When my daughter was 3 we were visiting my mom in another state, in the summer, she was wearing a tank top and her "flabby" arms showed. Well my daughter walked up to her and said "nonny you have big jigglers my mom just has little ones!" We still laugh about it and measure our "jigglers" when we eat dessert!!!!

Babies from God

My 6 year old asked me "Mommy how do you make a baby." My reply: "You have to be married and then pray with your husband". A couple of weeks later we saw a couple that we know along with their 7 children at the grocery store. My daughter asked "how many kids do they have?" I said, "7". She said, "Wow they sure pray a lot." LOL

Know it all

My 4yo old asked me if I knew something, and I said "Yep I know that one, cause I know everything" Her very prompt and very forward reply to that was "No you don't Mummy, you're not God". I said, "Well God doesn't know everything". She said "He knows more than you"


Marc was engrossed in a young couple that were hugging and kissing in a restaurant. Without taking his eyes off them, he asked his dad: "Why is he whispering in her mouth?"


DJ stepped onto the bathroom scale and asked: "How much do I cost?"