Funny things kids say

Here is the full list of funny quotes. These sayings come from the kids at my local school, reader submissions and aggregated from all over the Internet. I'm hoping to make this one of the largest collections of funny kid's sayings around.

You can also add your own sayings, or view 5 random funny quotes!


When my son was about 3 years old, he asked me if I had a penis. I said no, that only boys and men had them. He thought about it for a minute, then told me everyone had them, mine must have just fallen off! Even though I tried to explain that girls and women did not have them, he had already made up his mind and nothing I could say would change it.

Babies from God

My 6 year old asked me "Mommy how do you make a baby." My reply: "You have to be married and then pray with your husband". A couple of weeks later we saw a couple that we know along with their 7 children at the grocery store. My daughter asked "how many kids do they have?" I said, "7". She said, "Wow they sure pray a lot." LOL


Marc was engrossed in a young couple that were hugging and kissing in a restaurant. Without taking his eyes off them, he asked his dad: "Why is he whispering in her mouth?"


DJ stepped onto the bathroom scale and asked: "How much do I cost?"


Susan was drinking juice when she got the hiccups. "Please don't give me this juice again," she said, "It makes my teeth cough."


"I don't like yoghurt" ... why not? "Because the TV says it has bacteria and bacteria makes me sick"

Mixing colours

When talking about what colours we can make... What would happen if I mixed the red paint with the blue paint?
"You'll get into trouble"


"Mum, I know what dairy milk chocolate means. It means there's milk in it!"
"Yes, and dark chocolate doesn't have milk in it."
"Thats because it's made out of poo!"


Jack was watching his Mum breast-feeding his new baby sister. After a while he asked: "Mum why have you got two? Is one for hot and one for cold milk?"