Funny things kids say

Here is the full list of funny quotes. These sayings come from the kids at my local school, reader submissions and aggregated from all over the Internet. I'm hoping to make this one of the largest collections of funny kid's sayings around.

You can also add your own sayings, or view 5 random funny quotes!


Susan was drinking juice when she got the hiccups. "Please don't give me this juice again," she said, "It makes my teeth cough."


"I don't like yoghurt" ... why not? "Because the TV says it has bacteria and bacteria makes me sick"

Mixing colours

When talking about what colours we can make... What would happen if I mixed the red paint with the blue paint?
"You'll get into trouble"


When my son was about 3 years old, he asked me if I had a penis. I said no, that only boys and men had them. He thought about it for a minute, then told me everyone had them, mine must have just fallen off! Even though I tried to explain that girls and women did not have them, he had already made up his mind and nothing I could say would change it.


Jack was watching his Mum breast-feeding his new baby sister. After a while he asked: "Mum why have you got two? Is one for hot and one for cold milk?"


My friend's son exclaimed delightedly: "Peek-a-boo bread!" when the toast popped out of the toaster.

Sarah who?

"Her first name was Wee. Her middle name was Bum. Her last name was Poo. So her name was Wee Bum Poo. But everyone called her Sarah"


Melanie asked her Granny how old she was. Granny replied she was so old she didn't remember any more. Melanie said, "If you don't remember you must look in the back of your panties. Mine say five to six."


Steven hugged and kissed his Mum good night. "I love you so much that when you die I'm going to bury you outside my bedroom window."