Funny things kids say

Here is the full list of funny quotes. These sayings come from the kids at my local school, reader submissions and aggregated from all over the Internet. I'm hoping to make this one of the largest collections of funny kid's sayings around.

You can also add your own sayings, or view 5 random funny quotes!


My friend's son exclaimed delightedly: "Peek-a-boo bread!" when the toast popped out of the toaster.

Sarah who?

"Her first name was Wee. Her middle name was Bum. Her last name was Poo. So her name was Wee Bum Poo. But everyone called her Sarah"


Melanie asked her Granny how old she was. Granny replied she was so old she didn't remember any more. Melanie said, "If you don't remember you must look in the back of your panties. Mine say five to six."


Steven hugged and kissed his Mum good night. "I love you so much that when you die I'm going to bury you outside my bedroom window."


Brittany had an earache and wanted a pain killer. She tried in vain to take the lid off the bottle. Seeing her frustration, her Mum explained it was a child-proof cap and she'd have to open it for her. Eyes wide with wonder, the little girl asked: "How does it know it's me?"

Know it all

My 4yo old asked me if I knew something, and I said "Yep I know that one, cause I know everything" Her very prompt and very forward reply to that was "No you don't Mummy, you're not God". I said, "Well God doesn't know everything". She said "He knows more than you"