Three kids, walking through a forest. Suddenly they see a slide and a fairy, who tells them the slide is magic and whatever they shout as they're sliding down, they will land in a big pile of it.
First kid slides down and shouts 'ICE CREAM!' and lands in a big pile of strawberry ice cream. Eats it all.
Second kid slides down and shouts 'CHOCOLATE CAKE!'
Third kid forgets and shouts 'WHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE....'

Knock knock
Who's there?
Nose
Nose who?
Who knows

You know you are fat when you get on the scales it says "one a time please!"

Where do the Bees use the bathroom?
The BP station.

Patient: Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I'm a pair of curtains.
Doctor: oh, pull yourself together.

Patient:Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I'm a pack of playing cards.
Doctor: I'll deal with you later.

Patient: Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I'm a snooker ball.
Doctor: Please get to the end of the cue.

Patient: Doctor Doctor everyone keeps ignoring me!
Doctor: next!

Patient: Doctor Doctor the invisible man is in the waiting room
Doctor: Tell him I can't see him.