Knock Knock
Who's there?
You
You who?
Don't get so excited, it's just me!

Patient: Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I'm a pair of curtains.
Doctor: oh, pull yourself together.

Patient:Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I'm a pack of playing cards.
Doctor: I'll deal with you later.

Patient: Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I'm a snooker ball.
Doctor: Please get to the end of the cue.

Patient: Doctor Doctor everyone keeps ignoring me!
Doctor: next!

Patient: Doctor Doctor the invisible man is in the waiting room
Doctor: Tell him I can't see him.

Q. Why did the football coach go to the bank?
A. Cause he wants his quarter back!

Knock knock
Who's there?
Arch
Arch who?
Bless you!

Q: Why don't cars play football?
A: Because they only have one boot