One day the elephant was taking a bath. The ant come in his bathroom and said to the elephant to stand up. Then the ant says sit down.
Elephant was angry. "First you say to me stand up, and then you say to me sit down. Make up your mind".
The ant says "I was just checking that you are not wearing my underwear".

Q: How do you stop your dog from digging up your garden?

A: Take away his spade!

Q: What do you call a flying dog?
A: Ruff take off.

Q: How do you make a footballer feel cold?

A: Stand close to the fans

Q: what day do potatos hate the most?

A: fry-day!