Q: what is the difference between a teacher and a train?

A: a teacher says take out your gum but a train says choo choo!

Q: What comes after a monkey?
A: It's tail.

Q: what do you call a dancing sheep?

A: a baaaallarina

Patient: Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I'm a pair of curtains.
Doctor: oh, pull yourself together.

Patient:Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I'm a pack of playing cards.
Doctor: I'll deal with you later.

Patient: Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I'm a snooker ball.
Doctor: Please get to the end of the cue.

Patient: Doctor Doctor everyone keeps ignoring me!
Doctor: next!

Patient: Doctor Doctor the invisible man is in the waiting room
Doctor: Tell him I can't see him.

Q: How do you make a tissue dance?

A: You put a little boogie in it!!