Q: Why was the cow sad?
A: Cos she couldn't go to the moooovies

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Dwayne.
Dwayne who?
Dwain the bathtub I'm dwowning.

Once a girl and a boy were eating burgers. The boy said to the girl "I need to tell you something!" The girl said "Don't talk to me while I'm eating, when I finish my burger then you can talk."
So when they'd finished eating the girl asked the boy "now what did you want to say?" The boy said "um, I was going to say that there was a cockroach in your burger!"

Q: What has four legs but never runs?

A: A chair

Q: What do you call an oyster that won't share?

A: A selfish shellfish.