Q: What kind of teacher doesn't fart in public?

A: A private tutor

Q: what has four wheels and flies?
A: a garbage truck!

Q: Why do kangaroo mothers dread bad weather?

A: Because their joeys have to play inside

Q: What did the telephone give to its girlfriend?
A: a ring!

Three kids, walking through a forest. Suddenly they see a slide and a fairy, who tells them the slide is magic and whatever they shout as they're sliding down, they will land in a big pile of it.
First kid slides down and shouts 'ICE CREAM!' and lands in a big pile of strawberry ice cream. Eats it all.
Second kid slides down and shouts 'CHOCOLATE CAKE!'
Third kid forgets and shouts 'WHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE....'