Patient: Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I'm a pair of curtains.
Doctor: oh, pull yourself together.

Patient:Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I'm a pack of playing cards.
Doctor: I'll deal with you later.

Patient: Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I'm a snooker ball.
Doctor: Please get to the end of the cue.

Patient: Doctor Doctor everyone keeps ignoring me!
Doctor: next!

Patient: Doctor Doctor the invisible man is in the waiting room
Doctor: Tell him I can't see him.

Q: Did you hear about the burglar who broke into a bakery?

A: He was caught bread handed!

Q: What did the man who lost his left side say?

A: Im all right now!

Q. Use depart, decide, and deface in a sentence.

A. Depart of your hair should never hang over decide of the deface.

Q: What happens when a robber bungles a robbery in a paint store?

A: The police catch him red handed!