Patient: Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I'm a pair of curtains.
Doctor: oh, pull yourself together.

Patient:Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I'm a pack of playing cards.
Doctor: I'll deal with you later.

Patient: Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I'm a snooker ball.
Doctor: Please get to the end of the cue.

Patient: Doctor Doctor everyone keeps ignoring me!
Doctor: next!

Patient: Doctor Doctor the invisible man is in the waiting room
Doctor: Tell him I can't see him.

Q: A bus driver and a doctor both liked the same girl. The bus driver had to go away for a week and gave her 7 apples. Why?
A: Because an apple a day keeps the doctor away!

Q: What do you call a snowman with a sun tan?
A: A puddle

Q: if you were in a candy shop and you were about to die what kind of candy would you get?

A: a life saver!

Q: What's a duck's favorite snack?

A: Quackers!