Patient: Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I'm a pair of curtains.
Doctor: oh, pull yourself together.

Patient:Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I'm a pack of playing cards.
Doctor: I'll deal with you later.

Patient: Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I'm a snooker ball.
Doctor: Please get to the end of the cue.

Patient: Doctor Doctor everyone keeps ignoring me!
Doctor: next!

Patient: Doctor Doctor the invisible man is in the waiting room
Doctor: Tell him I can't see him.

Q: What kind of bow can't be tied?

A: A rainbow.

Q: Where do cows go on holiday?

A: Moo-York

knock knock
who's there?
snowman
snowman who?
snowman are you not surprised I can talk?

Q: Why did the computer need glasses?
A: To fix his web sight.