Patient: Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I'm a pair of curtains.
Doctor: oh, pull yourself together.

Patient:Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I'm a pack of playing cards.
Doctor: I'll deal with you later.

Patient: Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I'm a snooker ball.
Doctor: Please get to the end of the cue.

Patient: Doctor Doctor everyone keeps ignoring me!
Doctor: next!

Patient: Doctor Doctor the invisible man is in the waiting room
Doctor: Tell him I can't see him.

Q: What kind of witch lives in the desert?
A: A sandwich!

Q: What do cows say when they want someone to get out of the way?

A: Moooove over!

Q: What kind of bow can't you tie?

A: A rainbow

Q: How does the teacher read schoolwork?

A: With her pupils.