Q: What is the difference between a fish and a piano?
A: You can't tuna fish.

Q: Why did the squirrel cross the road?

A: Because he went nuts.

Q. What did 0 say to 8
A. Nice belt!

Q: What is green and sings ?
A: Elvis parsley

Patient: Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I'm a pair of curtains.
Doctor: oh, pull yourself together.

Patient:Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I'm a pack of playing cards.
Doctor: I'll deal with you later.

Patient: Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I'm a snooker ball.
Doctor: Please get to the end of the cue.

Patient: Doctor Doctor everyone keeps ignoring me!
Doctor: next!

Patient: Doctor Doctor the invisible man is in the waiting room
Doctor: Tell him I can't see him.