Q: What did the water say to the boat?
A: Nothing, it just waved.

Q: What has no beginning, no end and nothing in the middle?
A: A doughnut!

Q: What do you get if you cross Santa and a duck?

A: a christmas quacker

Patient: Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I'm a pair of curtains.
Doctor: oh, pull yourself together.

Patient:Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I'm a pack of playing cards.
Doctor: I'll deal with you later.

Patient: Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I'm a snooker ball.
Doctor: Please get to the end of the cue.

Patient: Doctor Doctor everyone keeps ignoring me!
Doctor: next!

Patient: Doctor Doctor the invisible man is in the waiting room
Doctor: Tell him I can't see him.

Q. What did 0 say to 8
A. Nice belt!