Q: what is red white and black?
A: a sunburned zebra

Q: Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?
A: in case he got a hole in one!!

Q: How do you make holy water?

A: You boil the hell out of it

Q: What's a horses favorite drink?

A: Lemon-neighed!

One day the elephant was taking a bath. The ant come in his bathroom and said to the elephant to stand up. Then the ant says sit down.
Elephant was angry. "First you say to me stand up, and then you say to me sit down. Make up your mind".
The ant says "I was just checking that you are not wearing my underwear".