Funny things kids say

My younger sister came home from school one day, obviously elated beyond belief about something. She was dancing and prancing around. When I asked her why she was so happy, she whispered excitedly, "I can do something no one else can do." I asked her what that was, and she exclaimed loudly, "I can look at my forehead!!!" She rolled her eyes to the back of her head and danced around, obviously proud of her new accomplishment.

Her, looking at the tomato plants: Look Mommy, baby tomatoes!
Me: Yep, when they turn red, we can eat them.
Her, 20 minutes later: Mommy, are those tomatoes red yet?

My daughter was sitting in her car seat in the back of the car, She suddenly had to use the bathroom, so I said to her " Hold on honey, just pinch your cheeks together until I find a place to stop" I turned around to look at her and she was sitting there squeezing her face and cheeks as hard as she could. Wrong cheeks sweetie....lol

My son is watching Jeopardy, and answered correctly a biblical question. He then shouts, "Church works!" as if the whole purpose of church is to learn things in order to be able to correctly answer Jeopardy questions.

I was having a conversation with a four year about brains. I told him that brains were in your head, and he goes "No they're not! They're here!" And then he squeezed my right boob.

Eating milky way stars, 2 year old son:
"Mummy, I like chocolate starfish".

My daughter was drawing some pictures in Paint. I could hear her and my partner.
Him: No, press save. Save saves, cancel doesn't.
Her: But I've done it before and cancel saves!
Him: Just press save.
Her: awwwww, but but ...

my 4 y/o son said the funniest thing ever.. 1 day i was doing our lunch dishes.and he came up 2 me & said this... mom,u love all 5 of us kids ? and i said i sure do,then he said i am ur last baby boy huh?! i said yes u r my last baby son & then he said that my baby sister is ur last baby daughter ? then again i said yes!! the he said mom,i know Y u can not have any more babies is b.cuz "GOD LOCKED UP UR TUMMY SO NO MORE BABIES ;-)" i will tell him in about 10-15 yrs.from now what he said to me...i've told a lot of ppl this & they think its so very cute...

At the rib fest today, which I'm told is the 2nd largest rib competition in North America, so picture a big park full of contestants selling ribs. My 5 yr.old nephew turns to me and says, "This place doesn't have much of a selection". LOL.

"I don't like yoghurt" ... why not? "Because the TV says it has bacteria and bacteria makes me sick"

Oh I have thought of another one that my son has said.
His father and I got married last year. Well we were having trouble with one of my bridesmaids and my husband was fed up with her and pretty much threw her out of the wedding party. Well he gave her one last chance to redeem herself and said if she didn't make it to the rehearsal at the church then she better not show up to the wedding the next day because he wouldn't marry me. Well she called me and told me that she had tried calling my MOH's cell (which she did because the phone rang but MOH hung up and turned off the phone) wanting to see if we were still at the church because she didn't know how long it would take and how to get there. I felt bad and told her she could still come and be a part of the wedding and told hubby. He was a little more than pissed and still insisted that he wouldn't marry me if she was there. Well we got to the church before him because he was late ( another story all together) and my son had come downstairs to see me. He looked up at my bridesmaid and said " My daddy said he wasn't going to marry my mommy if you were here"
She looked terrified and asked me if she should leave and if he was really serious. I told her not to worry about it and it would be fine. He ended up being 40 min late for the ceremony so I was a little more than freaked. But how my son said it to her was absolutely priceless.

My daughter to her daddy: "Stop singing Daddy. It hurts people's ears."

When my niece was 3 years old I told her to straighten up and fly right because she was being a handful that day. She looked up at me and in the most serious tone said "but I dont have any wings"

So my son is going through a tough time where he thinks that his parents are leaving him. Like he can't stand to be more than five feet away from them.
So his dad takes him to poop and he says, "daddy wait for me! My poopy's stuck!"

I have a dawdler, he'll sit on the toilet forever... and I tried to rush him the other day it was:
"Mommy!! Why won't you let me poop!"

My 5yo son has a tendency to grab hold of someone and try and plant a sloppy kiss on their cheek and then proceeds to say "I fell in love with you"

When my daughter was potty training, she was scared badly when an automatic flushing toilet flushed when she was on it. She got in the habit of asking me if a toilet (other than the ones at home) were going to flush by themselves.
We were out in the desert one day and she had to go. We went behind a bush and I dug her a little hole. As I was holding her up she asked, "Mommy is this one going to flush?"

I told my daughter I was having another baby.. She said I hope we have a boy or a girl.

When trying to talk to my 2 year old about using the toliet. I ask her if she "needs to pee pee on the toliet". Recently when it rains, she'll say "Pee pee toliet outside". it took me a few days of rain to realize that was her way of saying it was raining.

The other day my son comes up to me while I'm on the computer and says, "Mom, are you checking your e-man?"