Funny things kids say

My son when 3 at Christmas time recieved a sweater from my grandmother. He threw it, pointed at her and said "And don't you ever, ever buy me clothes presents again"!

We were fishing about a month ago. We were driving down the road in silence when out of nowhere, my son yells "Oh my God, a cactus!!" I thought it was so funny because we live in the desert and there are cacti everywhere!

I went to pick up my eldest, Marcus, from pre-school, and when I entered the room, he was sitting underneath a table playing "Indians" with his good friend Christian (who obviously was the Chief).
Christian grabbed a small wooden stick lying on the floor and whispered loudly: "I have a knife!"
Marcus looked at him for a very long moment, as if not knowing quite how to respond", and then he slowly picked another small wooden stick, and said: "I have a fork!"
I managed to keep a straight face......for about 25 seconds!

My daughter just got out of a time out for putting the cat's food in his water dish. So she comes out of her room afterward and announces that she's "done behaving".

Before finding out the sex of my third child, my 8 year old asked, "if it's a boy can we take it back?"

My son is fascinated with nipples. To his grandmother he said, "you have big nipples." To me he said, "you have hairy nipples."
All these things are true.

Yesterday as we're driving home...
X: Mommy, look! An aliens!
Me: An alien? where?
X: No an Aliens! with the lights!
Me: (looking around for what he could possibly be talking about) OH...the Ambulance?
X: YES! The aliens!
I love these mispronunciations sometimes.

When discussing with my neice animal noises she asked what noise a shark makes. I told her that sharks didn't make noises. "Yes they do" she argued. "They say DU DUM DU DUM DU DUM"

When i told my 4 year old the new baby was gonna be a boy, he said, "no, I have a baby and mine's a boy, yours is a girl!!"

i was askin my niece if she knew how the car started (shes obsessed with them) and she said daddy just hits it and says useless piece of shite and it goes
this was in the middle of town on a packed day from a 3 year old

I caught my six year old son lying to his mother. I explained what a lie is and told him that if he did it again I would make him eat soap. My three year old daughter was standing beside my wife's chair and upon hearing the threat she said, "I'll get the soap!!" and happily headed to the bathroom.

Telling my 8 year old the new baby is a boy and not to worry we will try for a sister next time, "so can i come with you to the hospital to pick it out? or do we go the doctor's to go do that?"

My daughter has somehow arrived at the conclusion that tasty = bad. Whenever she doesn't want to finish eating or drinking something she says, "It's too tasty."

One day I took a friend's little 4 year old daughter to the zoo. This friend is very overweight, but her daughter is not. When we got to the elephants the little girl stood watching for quite a long time and seemed to be fascinated with them. Then all of a sudden she turned to me and stated "My mummy is an elephant".

A Listerine Pocket Packs commercial was on and when it was over, my son turned to me and said "I want that for my daddy." I said "Why?" and she answered "Cause his breath is stinky."

Earlier today I'd cut my toe open banging it into something. I'm a clutz sometimes. Anyway, I went and cleaned it off and put a bandaid on it before it bled all over my new sandals - the bandaids I found first were my daughter's Care Bear bandaids. I didn't think she had noticed until several hours later she was taking a bath and pointed out an "imaginary boo boo" and said, "Can you take my bandage off of your toe now so I can use it?" Just so wrong on many levels.

My 5 year old daughter told me that she didn't wanna go to school today, so I told her "I don't wanna go to work , but I have to". She said "no you don't, you're the mom, and if you don't want to you don't have to."

My son is now 7. When he was 5 he was outside with his dad. Somehow a conversation started between my husband and another tenant from the building. She was really tall about 6 feet and was wearing a short skirt. My son is very friendly and ran up and was talking to her. She was talking to him and he went to hug her legs. My husband said our son got a strange look on his face and looked over at him. My husband asked him what was wrong and our son says "Daddy why isn't she wearing underwear?"
My husband said the girl went about 6 shades of red and quickly took off and he was trying not to laugh. I ran into her a couple of days later during a fire alarm and was wondering why she was pointing at my son and whispering to her friend.

When asked if he is sick, he replied "No I'm not sick, my batteries have just runned out"

*burp* Oh 'scuse me; I farted in my mouth.